BPE
Dis-dis-disownment,
kids that’s just what happens
man thinks highly o’ his status,
thinks his money takes precedence,
big number means head o’ house,
gets to polishin’ his rod,
don’t see who’s back he’s standin’,
aww little paw paw patriarch,
thinks he’s a real proper man,
talks this n’ that on actin’ right,
thinks his word on high worth more
than his woman’s life.
Actin’ actin’ actin’ like
he done the work, he change diapers,
got heartburn when that baby kick,
nine months o’ tender breasts,
achin’ hips an’ achin’ back,
mornin’ sickness and swollen legs,
shit I’m here to ask
whose bones built that skeleton?
Bones a thing estrogen does,
that’s where mitochondria come from.
Bone of bone, blood of blood.
I’m sorry, he’s whose son?
Thinks a baby’s his just ’cause
he swanned in at the end
and put his name on it?
Bit o’ slime and we’re partners?
Equal yoke in this endeavor?
Hard pass.
Miss me with that shit.
Say this o’ my upbringin’,
no man e’er piped up like that,
they wouldn’t serve me disrespect,
not with a gun to their heads.
I expect
a manner o’ conduct befittin’,
sittin’ at my fire a privilege,
a woman’s heart always been
the meanin’ o’ civilization.
Now school’s in session kids,
I’ve got ya by the appendix,
won’t catch me at an altar built
by the clowns who wrote the Aeneid—
don’t leave sausages unattended,
they’ll call their stink water a classic—
takin’ vows off the Council o’ Nicaea,
Rome turned a lover’s sacrifice, the oldest—
that’s right J-boy your unchaste fall guy,
he was real close with Magdalene,
she the navel o’ that operation,
and Judas couldn’t take rejection,
people wouldn’t listen to a woman
so she found a pretty mouth,
an’ taught him what to do with it
oh he was willin‘—
into a smear campaign, terrorists,
religion ain’t nothin’ but an ACE,
limbic vampirism, mass on the amygdala,
they gotta get ya young,
install faulty sensors, wack proximity alert,
fuckin’ car alarm, emergency flashers—
yeah no they don’t shut off,
put a muzzle on your ma,
shock collar, ankle bracelet,
disfigure an’ twist her children
just to keep her in line.
See Lundy’s Why Does He Do That?
That’s what a man does
when a son don’t take his image.
Husbandry
Tell you about the harness,
only one o’ them’s Decisions Horse,
shoulder shoulder peace in this house,
play to strengths and know your place,
discipline ain’t no business o’ his,
best keep them hands to himself.
Baby baby I can handle
Casanova Prince o’ cognitive load,
oh my executives function at the whip,
fuck I need your input for? My emotions,
those none o’ your concern, I wouldn’t be here,
won’t catch me bowin’ at no high chair,
puttin’ globe and scepter in some toddler hand,
boy get in the studio and make me a song,
mo chuisle that’s mo amhrán.
He don’t make sounds? Wow.
Throw the whole man out.
That’s yucky disgustin’.
Didn’t even say it had to be good.
Masonry? Carpentry? Electrician? No?
Knows his way ’round the hardware store?
Ultimate orgasms? No?
Girl what the fuck.
That’s crickets ‘tween his ears for sure.
Oh he punch up in the octagon?
Whatever ring your gong, orbital bone,
meaty paws an’ too many rocks that noggin’,
letters look like a ransom note,
real Conor McGregor bitch bruh,
the bruises an improvement on that mug,
an’ those some load bearin’ allegations,
no shelter ‘neath that I-beam, duck,
wouldn’t hang my laundry on that.
I remember what my daddy said,
at a campus for the upper tax brack,
said princess just look around,
they don’t decide you don’t belong,
look, look, there’s men here,
an’ it don’t matter what they wear,
don’t matter how well they fed,
men are dogs,
they push down to posture up,
and you are smarter
than every single one o’ them.
Fuck off my diaphragm.
Reel Around the Sun
Parents thought I was possessed,
lord I fucked with Riverdance.
What’s an Irish? Alls I know is
this shit slaps.
Saw it once on shitty VHS, once,
an’ I spun new steps from memory.
Something-omething tap tap weee,
go fast go fast go fast,
sailed the seven fuckin’ seas
downloadin’ for days at pirate bays
just to find that one track,
didn’t even know its name.
Nope not that one wrong hum,
one second nope wrong hum,
next, next, virus, next,
hallelujah!
Some sketch ass digital backwater,
mama found that secret chord
David played an’ it please the Lord,
or whatever, we had liftoff.
Drug that song an’ its endorphins
o’er the hills through mainframes
jumpin’ drive to drive to drive
like some ratty stuffy seen better days,
free for a few minutes at least
somewhere safe horizon bright.
Just had to follow my feet.
Well don’t go far in my moccasins,
won’t get far in this heat,
so bright so bright I’ll just lie,
patch o’ grass to rest my eyes,
I’m just so tired,
siren song o’ sunstroke.
My stare’s down thousand-yards,
folk say immigrant like a dirty word
when here I was foreign at birth.
What are words without a language?
Children raised without enjoyment?
Covered ears in a ghetto trailer
nursin’ songs and baths for warmth.
Ain’t my nature forgive trespass,
leave a single leg to stand,
not when I come for a man,
oh I know a thing ’bout that kneecap.
I refuse collateral damage, here,
circle salt and broken glass,
wall o’ thorns ’round my innocence.
They only take what you permit,
mind the boundaries you enforce,
I’ll do mine and then do yours,
call that maternity ward.
Not everyone is strong enough,
I’ll have a word with the man in charge,
gonna speak to your fuckin’ manager,
‘haps that asshole Ronald Reagan,
dial up some popes, also your dad,
laundry list and a bed o’ coals
so long it’s a papyrus scroll,
I’ll put a different color on it,
fuck you know ’bout revenge?
Best served with a smile jagged
like a good girl born in hell, you been served
walkin’ papers in gel pen ruby slipper,
get blisters off these marchin’ orders,
don’t deserve me at my Isis
if you can’t take me at my Sekhmet,
inner child’s who the sun represents.
That’s enough I said, boy best get steppin’,
we’re off to see the Grand Wizard,
yellow brick brimstone freshly paved
down to Dante’s fever dream gate,
cry me a river o’ grace, pages worth, I said
dead men tell no tales,
smash their precious tablets, dust to dust,
that’s right fuck you Utah,
you’re a terrible neighbor,
see you creepin’ ’round the hood
on a mission,
someone liberate a desert nation,
make like Moses and fuckin’ split
if Salt Lake don’t gas ya first,
dissolve into toxic vapor,
CPS wear bulletproof vests,
Nasdaq Batemans tax exempt.
See now how far I had to walk,
no distance woulda been enough,
that’s always their first question,
why didn’t you just didn’t you just.
What? Leave? That journey’s in knots,
daughters always have farther to fall
an’ I always count the cost,
see ’em toothless, strung out in rags all ’round town,
get your God right next to your methodone
then donate plasma next door
’cause you short as fuck on funds.
Plane ticket outta here, how much blood?
Which hole?
Those tweaker bitches barefoot an’ leathered
always the first to tell me I’m beautiful,
full o’ wonder, how’d I grow here?
They’ve got nothin’ but ozone an’ asphalt
an’ I’m a surprise wildflower,
shown me more kindness than my own mother.
Once,
saw her walkin’ home from work in the hundreds
an’ she sobbed when I pulled over,
said no one else would bother, an’ a woman
a woman knows, there’s a boyfriend involved,
she can’t make rent alone,
only a man create this situation,
they all claim to know the Savior,
say we’re the good ones treat you better,
but it’s coffins line their coffers,
fine print terms an’ conditions apply,
he’s still a theist if it’s big number in the sky,
listen, listen, if he ain’t an artist or a brain,
it’s bigger the bank account bigger the parasite,
weaker the morals louder the faith,
always, always.
Who talks to they mama talks to God every day,
an’ that’s any woman went outta her way,
smile or scowl or somethin’ to say.
Said no more for profit prophets,
no mouth to mouth transmission,
oratory salvation contagion,
y’know heat stress is cumulative,
your blusterin’ not withstandin’.
You are never safe.
There is no escape.
When is a body blue on infrared?
When? When? You’ve built an oven
so bitch here’s new testament:
Only reason Jesus had his head on straight is
he was with his mama in the kitchen.
Anathema
Wouldn’t say my boys romantic,
but they’ll paint me a pretty picture,
pale dawn rainbow watercolors
an’ there’s a raven on barbed wire
goin’ AHHK,
y’know full throat sound,
some guttural shadow splats,
deckled edges, y’know for emphasis.
Won’t speak on they feelins
but press cheeks to my palm
just ’cause my hand was there,
join me standin’ in the rain silent,
an’ swear painful death a sudden
if anyone e’er hurts me.
None o’ them my boyfriends.
Point is point is we not the same,
always gone my own kinda way,
I ain’t cute an’ I’m kinda mean
but I know shit like get good meats
fresh eggs an’ hard cheese,
L-tyrosine precursor to dopamine,
gotta give a body what it needs,
point is point is my family eats,
you ain’t shit if anyone hungry,
don’t have a place to sleep,
any child feels unsafe,
swift flick between the legs
any man throws his weight.
You know the type.
Says respect but means obey,
on your knees to take his faith,
scripture bends the rules he break,
your pain’s punishment divine,
God agrees so he must be right,
your mama too browbeat to fight,
gotta be a good wife
so she can hold her head high
at church.
Lemme finish out that chapter,
hit ya with an author’s note,
next time it’s belt off in that trauma loop
I slam his fuckin’ head in the door
’til he’s a droolin’ idiot
an’ take you home to my place
y’know where shit makes sense.
My baby I’m built different.
Jack o’ Lantern
Used to put your ma on Valium
if she ain’t serve pa with a smile,
tape a cutout to her mouth
and make her look at herself,
spread he legs at his every whim
orgasm a mental illness,
fill his pissy lil’ bowl first thing,
Benzo this bitch middle name,
lobotomy her final destination
if he don’t beat her to it.
Well fuck him.
I’ll serve piss an’ tacks in gelatin,
get that collagen for your skin,
protip for a youthful glow,
real 1950s menstrual special,
I’ll put a bit o’ coconut milk,
go set the table for this supper,
I’m wearin’ my best apron,
even wore a flour sack fit-n-flare,
that Blue Bird ditsy lavender sprig,
pop o’ red for flavor.
Aw look he’s readin’ the paper,
hair slick back in his ugly loafers,
how ’bout a game o’ CLUE?
Man don’t know jack shit,
Jack be nimble Jack be quick
Mom in the Study with a Candlestick,
lickety split go pick your switch
ruh-roh it’s all rose bushes,
my hedges talk of the neighborhood,
gosh I’m magic in the kitchen,
settee in my dust bowl victory garden,
right there by the spooky pumpkins.
Careful careful people will talk,
he’s been gone for months how very odd,
Dream a Genie wave a wand,
call me Samantha from Bewitched,
twinkle twinkle wriggle nose
bibidi babidi B-b-baba Yaga
pull up on the rest like rest like
doo wop John Wick,
best answer when I ask
Where my dogs at?
My boys know their classics,
started with their ACABs
no one e’er sang Fuck the Fire Department,
wink wink nudge,
an’ All Dogs go to Heaven,
ain’t hard to catch a hump,
stay happy, loyal, and affectionate
an’ you can be dumb as fuck,
you could lick your own butt,
just show up with enthusiasm,
no idea what’s goin’ on,
absolute faith in your ma.
Men make they own problems.
Oh shit there’s Gretchen’s husband,
nab some wobbers in zoots
weren’t busy givin’ shiners
and bullshit traffic tickets, top hits
stealin’ from the homeless,
harassin’ addicts, rapin’ minors,
job so so dangewous,
it’s scawy out there, cryin’ for funds cause
snake bit the dick you stuck in its house,
oooh incendiary rounds, those iwwegal,
too harsh? Want me to stop? No.
E-ex-ex-con-excommunicado,
he ain’t civil an’ he don’t serve,
B-b-back the Boo, boo hoo bitch
stand aside or I’ll do you next,
lick the boots o’ domestic abuse,
your Woman card’s revoked,
Thin Blue Line my muscular ass,
the system is workin’ as intended,
them blue collars act real gangsta,
white’s the same thinly veiled,
weel stwong famiwy protector,
he’ll save you from that civil unrest,
just be his servant broodmare.
What a bargain! Oh, don’t like that?
Men don’t change without incentive,
saddle up for that extinction burst,
everyone wants to plan a protest,
but nobody wants to put a cop in the hospital,
oh honey he won’t take himself to jail,
pull a United Healthcare CEO
c-c-claims adjust, I’d like to file
a complaint, contact Human Resources,
sooner or later, sooner or later
blood be spilled.
He don’t get gone I’ll Joann Crafts
teach a lesson in pumpkin carvin’
bring the whole family,
Gretchen might be there.
Ave Maria
An’ miss me with that edgy jaded cool girl shtick,
dwugs, apathy, an’ sarcasm her entire personality,
wears borin’ colors so she must be deep,
disillusioned rich girl chic,
rather pop a pill than cut a face,
fights an’ fucks like a starvin’ alleycat.
I’m some Other kinda hyperfeminine,
daisies in the cracks o’ the apocalypse.
Where’d they come from? Oh sweetness,
I said I was a heavyweight,
inside every woman is a mass grave,
smiled when a young girl loudly proclaimed,
sniffin’ BBWorks candles said,
she don’t get stressed, she just cries
and then she’s Fine, full sunshine
an’ I was like Heard, this one’s mine
I wish her well all the fuckin’ time,
hope my baby goes far in life,
finds herself a pasture green, not like this,
you say barren I say work in progress,
this field wants for nitrogen,
potassium, phosphorous, an’ calcium,
you’ll never guess this handy trick.
Sands to riches.
That’s the thing ’bout systemic privilege.
That’s the thing ’bout original sin.
These men guilty ’til proven innocent.
Who benefits when labor’s invisible?
Where’s my mifeprestone and misoprostol?
Matricide on the rise,
flappy hands poopy pants w-w-waa,
mommy fix it!
Why should I do chores if daddy didn’t?
I’m not a happy basement prince,
I should murder you about it,
I can’t hewp it I’m disabled.
Slack enough hang your sisters in the same boat,
shared a womb woulda killed ’em in utero,
man fuck them kids.
Gonna take some long piglets to the marketplace,
white dress best basket save the date,
I’ll put flowers in my hair,
if there really is a bridegroom fair
perhaps I’ll meet him there.
Ain’t no such thing a karma,
no private prison no cushy retirement,
an’ a Father’s love Ego eternal.
It isn’t real.
There’s only one hand on these scales.
Said life is for the livin’,
what you make of it right now,
an’ bitch there’s one way surefire
turn swine into a good man, say it:
Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for these sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
wyrdwind 