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jnjalving@gmail.com: 1K1N 2/x: Concurrent Events

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    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    1K1N 2/x: Concurrent Events

    It’s said

    humanity’s sins grew so great

    that not even the ocean

    could swallow them, no kingdom

    of the land or sea could withstand

    the death of phytoplankton. Mass

    asphyxiation. Desertification.

    As for the Seal of Solomon, well,

    a team of outcasts ages past

    discovered that it was a prison,

    a prism of torment designed

    to enslave…something. Someone.

    Whispers of ghosts, marids,

    the morning and evening star.

    When that seal shattered,

    magic receded from the world. The power

    of a dying wish

    for another’s freedom.

    Story for another day.

    Suffice to say,

    competition for the remaining

    habitable zones was vicious.

    Everyone kept to their clans.

    No trace of djinn, truces tense.

    Seafolk cultivated liquid starlight,

    brilliant blue algae nurseries cresting waves,

    combed rocky tide pools into fertile tresses,

    clam and kelp gardens along scavenged

    deep sea chains. Coral reefs replanted.

    After decades

    of killing humans on sight

    land and sea firmly parted ways.

    But all his life

    King Shahriman had a dream.

    Sunlight decanting through his room

    in the most peculiar way,

    he had to make the bed,

    he had to make the bed, and within,

    an impending wave, aching to break.

    It never arrived.

    He was never satisfied.

    No matter how many he lie beside

    it was never quite right, oh,

    he required size. Some kind of might.

    In their cheek

    his parents had named him

    King Kingly Spirit, not that

    he’d ever met the man, when asked

    his mother dodged with

    something something song of the sea.

    King Kingly Spirit, very

    gilding the lily, bleeding the pomegranate,

    and not to be dramatic, but he saw to it

    the wandering tribes united, gave rise to a city

    with his own hands—and many others—

    clay and earth and standing stones, concrete remnants,

    sand scoured shattered and pebbled rainbow glass,

    this location chosen

    when he came upon three proud acacia

    unscathed by tumult, took it as a sign,

    knew as his mother taught, that a king

    lives only as a burning effigy, his buildings

    but temples in service of some secret divinity.

    One makes the space

    and if one be worthy

    she sees it filled. Who’s she?

    Well that’s just one of those things

    you find out. You live long enough,

    never settle and stay the course. Art

    of surprise. But all his life,

    that is three decades and change,

    he had favor and lovers and dalliance aplenty

    but no queen to rule beside, a man

    cannot create a life, and that was fine.

    It was fine. The city thrived, the people

    were strong and happy. So why did he cry?

    And every day he would ride

    further and further along the cairn boundary.

    He watched the sea.

    And out there times were plenty dicey.

    A number of mermaid kingdoms had gone

    mad with grief. Some resorted to cannibalism.

    How to address, even begin, to soothe a hurt

    so vast? A blue planet. As fate would have it,

    a great lady bore twins. Wholly unexpected

    of their long declining fertility rates, the result

    of humanity treating the ocean like a toilet.

    A boy and a girl and the gift

    of song. All of creation. Our twins set off

    with the last marid and some dolphins

    and caravanned into quite a spectale.

    A found family of sorts, no,

    a roving kingdom. Lights and amusement,

    trinkets, relics, and trade. Comfort.

    Sorrow.

    In the water, you always know,

    you can’t not. Toxins take their course

    and a seaborn cannot hide.

    They felt it all.

    And each performance became testimony,

    revelation, a judgment day, tsunami

    or misted rain, these two had range.

    But some humans yet remained

    who hadn’t learned their lesson

    the first time.

    Engaged in dark commerce

    with a mermaid death cult gathered

    about offshore drilling platforms. I’m sure

    you know the ones I’m talking about.

    A wound cannot heal

    with an active infection. Our twins

    and their caravan caught in the crossfire.

    Some convergence of foul plots.

    Betrayed by the most decrepit

    of their kind, for such a beauty

    those humans paid a hefty price.

    Ripped from the ocean

    as the others fought to the death

    and packed into a shipping container,

    contents female,

    the next thing she or these human women knew

    was the screeching halt days, weeks later

    of their rumbling transport.

    Muffled slaughter.

    Everything stank.

    Too bright, too dry, too hot.

    Different human women

    shrouded in billowing garments

    like a ship’s sails, armed

    and mounted on horses and camels. Water.

    They were alarmed at her skin,

    dangerously fair, and soon she too

    sported a similar style. With an added woven hat.

    The others dispersed at checkpoints, crossroads,

    carried off home, but our wayward seaborn

    had nowhere to go.

    Her voice was gone,

    her limbs so very, very heavy.

    Finally, in order to escape

    the sun and whipping sand,

    they descended into the quanats

    hoping to make their…guest

    more comfortable. One woman

    had even taken it upon herself

    to administer without fail

    timely and lightly scented mist bursts.

    They tried every form of communication

    they could think of, even sign language,

    told her stories regardless

    of whether or not she understood,

    complete with shadow puppets.

    Once, after heated discussion,

    they offered her camel salt.

    Would that she possessed

    the will to smile, loosed

    a tear instead.

    Where was her brother now?

    The others?

    Bas-relief story book scenery

    increased on the home stretch,

    some kind of reservoir or oasis,

    a massive water processing station.

    A temple. Unlike any seen in an age.

    Enormous pillars

    and stone latticework screens

    conducting and shifting wind and sunlight

    encircling labyrinthine

    a grove of fruit trees and a deep

    tiered fountain, really a multi-storey

    series of waterfalls splashed

    into ponds and baths.

    She caught her breath.

    Having sent ahead,

    a calm and secluded chamber prepared.

    No direct light. Silk swags casting

    ambient hues as she might find

    homelike.

    All she did as sleep,

    could not reconcile her surroundings,

    adapt to these new ways, there were just

    too many eyes.

    So heavy.

    Could these humans be trusted?

    Did she care?

    Scratched a new existence, clawed

    bodily compliance until her spirit was raw,

    into the hoary wee hours

    as a steady droplet

    splattered on stone,

    ventured further and further from her room,

    today one thing, tomorrow one more.

    They left her alone.

    Let her figure it out.

    If a particular struggle protracted,

    the next day things were arranged just so,

    but never the sense someone hovered

    or expected overmuch. They did not push.

    Minute adjustments to her habitat.

    Leaving out little treats and snacks,

    Their efforts noted

    and appreciated.

    When she joined the others

    in tending the grove

    they acted as if

    she’d always been there.

    Fully included

    despite never having spoke.

    They acquainted her

    with their people’s treasure trove.

    Honeysuckles all the shades of dawn, jasmine,

    starry sky purple petunias, tissue fleck pale lavender

    blooms sprinkled atop mounts of creeping rosemary,

    elephant bush gobbling entire fences,

    boswellia, myrrh, cactus the colors of mountain blush—

    neon crowns on snowy down

    to towering night bloomers.

    Many things rescued from far off, just cuttings

    tucked in bags and pockets carefully proliferated.

    A variety of figs, medjool dates, so many citrus,

    carob, tamarind and moringa.

    Great black lady wasps

    taken up residence in brush,

    busy over pomegranate buds and hips.

    Their way was minimal subsequent interference,

    just do it right the first time, big swings, indeed,

    every cultivar present evolved with a retinue

    of suitable attendants.

    A plethora of creatures tiny to quite large.

    One hardly noticed

    the absence of her speech. Words were far

    from necessary.

    The women showed her spices, sweets,

    teas, perfumes, cloth, medicines, and wines.

    Stages of production, explicitly nontoxic.

    Workshopped a strong enough humectant

    to heal her badly chapped skin.

    One day, they brought her to a special section.

    So much easier to breathe. Very high humidity.

    A courtyard housing climbing orchid vines

    with a stumpery for their sole, humble companions,

    the melipona bee. Mellow and stingless. What makes

    a thing precious. One of the last things

    that had come to them by sea.

    In the summer they wore

    tactical linens and gauze, head to toe

    both heat reflective iridescent and producing

    directed electric charge with movement,

    and algae based oxygen compressor masks

    for arid zone maintenance. Borders contested

    against dunes shifting and slumbering,

    at times howling and haunting. This

    was a scorching sea

    plunged frigid at night

    only camels and sailors could navigate,

    living ships in their own right.

    Her own camel was young and bright white,

    expertly trained, herself a joy and a prize,

    with a fifty year expectancy

    would be with her all her life.

    This had been a gift quite mysterious.

    A helper on her journey, equally fair,

    rather birds of a feather in that respect.

    It almost

    made up for the trauma of abduction.

    At night in the open air

    constellations over a small fire,

    tea and rose syrup pastry, some shortbread,

    the women spoke of her former captors.

    Curs crawled out from bunkers, vile

    weapons and technologies, relics

    from the fallen age. Convinced

    their plummeting birth rates

    would be solved if they just

    defiled as many young women as possible,

    stole them from all around. Traced at last

    from their disastrous overreach.

    It was indirectly

    their lust for her seaborn genes and exotic beauty

    that exposed their underbelly.

    To preempt greater seaborn retaliation

    against human interference

    and as a show of good faith after such incident,

    the Matrons of the Morning Star

    had authorized a brutal strike

    on the base of operations,

    made it one hundred percent clear

    the actions of these men an their enablers

    were unacceptable

    in the eyes of their society, turned

    their corpses into a seaside display,

    left their women to wail and haunt

    every bunker breached with its toxins

    neutralized. Their way of life.

    They would adapt or die.

    Not long after, an answering display

    composed of those seaborn

    who had likewise betrayed. An unspoken

    covenant between mothers of the aftermath,

    universal.

    If you mean business, you put blood on it.

    With a dark alliance disbanded

    it remained to be seen

    if the hand of friendship, sisterhood,

    might be extended instead.

    Things were

    tense.

    Her presence marked the potential

    to transmute disaster into opportunity.

    She prayed her family survived.

    The season progressed

    and they sent goats up argan trees,

    summoned from arid prairie rooftops

    by some whistling language,

    shook olives and pistachios onto tarps,

    plucked saffron stigmas in early dawn

    beneath shimmering cirrus, sweeping breeze

    through her indigo and mulberry stonewash layers

    stitched with sprays of tiny glass pearls

    over deeper stains. This had been

    yet another gift.

    As to the identity

    of this…benefactor, the women

    remained tight-lipped. Custom sunglasses

    for her sensitive eyes. Fine leathers

    for riding and work. A clever falcon

    to assist in pest patrol. Paints.

    Goodness, someone

    had certainly taken interest,

    had given her every conceivable need

    a great deal of thought.

    The women’s glances lately laced

    with high amusement,

    especially when she’d periodically

    whip around as if to catch

    this observer in the act, squinting

    with suspicion at random foliage.

    This generosity vexed her so,

    felt so conspicuous,

    that she threw herself into her work.

    Last to bed and first to wake, driven

    by her need to convey

    that she didn’t take kindness for granted,

    if indeed “kindness” the precise intention.

    Shied the distinction of special treatment,

    had no desire to cultivate

    resentment from her peers. Onlookers.

    She devised a manner of message

    in which these people might contact

    her kin. Crafted a sense

    of their spirit.

    Late into her nights

    she’d created deep sea lanterns,

    all shapes and sizes

    arranged in cascading clusters

    affixed to textural starburst anchors,

    vivid fruit and blossom mosaics

    pressed and waterproofed.

    One loose, round link at the end

    in open invitation.

    Her human family marvelled

    and any seaborn not living under a rock

    would recognize her handiwork.

    Hopefully.

    Well it was on the newly minted

    Lantern Day festival

    they met.

    He seemed

    a man of long suffering reputation, charming,

    rather hard worn for one so relatively young—

    near her own age—

    but not unattractive by any means,

    oh no, he looked good. Had anything been said

    to go wrong, it went wrong just right.

    He made her smile

    even without words. If she couldn’t talk,

    he wouldn’t either.

    Thus, she acquired a visitor.

    Rather than put her on the spot,

    he joined in her work. She in his,

    somewhat more public than her predilection.

    They played games

    and took tea with chaperones. Painted together.

    He was very careful

    to do her no dishonor. Nonetheless,

    his intentions became quite clear.

    He had apparently

    abandoned any and all previous flirtations

    for well over a year.

    From the moment he saw her.

    Damn near been living like a monk,

    by his standards anyhow, and well,

    she really wanted

    to see what that hair was all about.

    Seaborn were mammals of course,

    but were mostly smooth to slightly scaled

    with sleek locks,

    they did not sport such rich texture.

    She’d gotten used to the smell.

    In his case, she liked it.

    These days she scarcely noticed

    the weight.

    He brought her some distance away,

    black goat hair tents along the steppes,

    dug out and reinforced underneath.

    Some sort of military encampment.

    It quickly became obvious

    he was the only man present.

    It quickly became obvious

    that the imposing woman before her

    was his mother.

    A Matron of the Morning Star.

    He left.

    They partook the provisions he’d presented

    in silence.

    The Matron noticed her studying the tapestry,

    meticulously woven and beaded, a complex

    landscape triptych of event horizons

    radiating from three different nascent voids,

    not unlike pearls.

    “These represent

    our sacred three. The great

    intercessors. Goddesses

    of the ancient world.

    Al-Uzza, the Mighty, guardian

    of trade and travelers, dealer

    of justice and war.

    Al-Lat, the Mother,

    full as the moon, bringer

    of monsoons, spring, and fertility.

    Manat, the Eldest,

    lady of fate, death, time,

    and destiny.”

    She unboxed candied orange rind

    and spiced dates soaked in rum

    then stuffed with ground nuts. Salt.

    Landlife certainly had perks,

    these people did things with food.

    It could almost be said

    she took a little color, pleasantly warm.

    “Your people are right to be wary.

    Our order hid for thousands of years

    after the fall of Mecca. It’s so rare

    for a man to be selfless

    they couldn’t shut up about it,

    said he was special until

    they guaranteed another worthy man

    would never be born again. Mark me,

    little mermaid, and take this to heart:

    no man

    ever spoke the word of Allah

    without a woman

    who first put those words in his mouth.”

    The Matron placed a marred signet ring

    in her palm,

    skin prickled, candles flickered.

    “I was not blessed

    with a daughter. But neither

    did I raise a useless son.

    He’s done some good here on Earth,

    whether or not he realizes, all that’s left

    is to find the right woman

    to help him hold onto it. Tell me,

    is that woman you?”

    As far as pleas for a grandchild went,

    that was top shelf.

    No seaborn maman done better.

    She surely understood the assignment,

    closed her hand around that ring

    without hesitation.

    Shahriman would have plenty

    to hold onto soon enough.

    Some days later,

    on a balmy late autumn night,

    the land’s contours lush deluge

    in the moonglow, the two of them alone,

    he brought her to the top of a tower

    to reveal a pet project.

    Partially open air, optional heavy drapes,

    columns and arches capped

    with a small dome and striking finial.

    In the center of the room

    he had hand tiled a large round inset bath.

    The entire floor.

    Glittering copper grout, deep ocean porcelain

    with quartz flecks, let out into

    grogged burnt umber Moravian stars

    on gradient kelp greens, brushed

    with faintly iridescent grit as he’d noticed

    she loved texture. Man been busy.

    Sitting up to their knees, hands linked,

    he asked for her name.

    But it was so heavy.

    So she kissed him instead,

    flung off his clothes still hot on his neck,

    yes, her hands were still fast.

    Before he knew it, they were in the bath.

    Not precisely the evening he’d planned,

    but he was a flexible man, evidenced

    by the unique position she had him pinned,

    one hand in his hair and the other

    possessively nipping his lower back,

    damn, he here was

    trying to be a gentleman. Right.

    The second gift, he’d almost forgotten.

    “Wait, my love. I have something

    that might help.”

    A slightly metallic taste on his lips,

    warm salt tugging some very taught strings

    low in his belly. Hardly felt his age.

    Extricated just long enough,

    thrilling like a boy

    under her piercing gaze. Opened a box

    and inside were two luminous stones

    warm to the touch and shaped somewhat

    like eggs. One of the last

    remnants of old magic.

    “Let’s see what I can do

    about that weight.”

    They were in fact

    a pair of very special pearls.

    With this new breathing room

    he thoroughly perused

    her every contour, working dense muscles

    with the warming stone, catching

    lonely glistening bits in his mouth,

    admired her flush, patches of scales

    curiously soft. Oh, not so different

    from humans after all. She soon found

    what the second stone was for.

    As one moved underwater

    the other hummed, and he kept that palm

    firmly rooted to its station,

    not that her relentless flesh, wracked

    with wave after wave after wave,

    would willingly relinquish its prize. She gasped.

    She clawed. She cried. She felt light.

    When, trembling,

    she indicated he should replace that stone

    with himself,

    again he asked

    for her name.

    She couldn’t provide it,

    but she was so close.

    He would wait.

    Shahriman was a patient man.

    Once a week did the asking, postponed

    his own release, and when finally

    a month had passed, well,

    her body had decided

    it was very much Ready for a child

    and he was just gonna have to lie back

    and take it like a man.

    She wasn’t hearing no. Fuck that tub.

    When she jumped him on his home turf,

    poor Shahriman tidying his chambers,

    minding his business being a good boy,

    he knew he was in trouble.

    She was, after all,

    inexplicably heavy, tossed on his sheets,

    and his traitor flesh

    sprang alive immediately all gods yes,

    today’s the day, I rise

    to the occasion.

    But suddenly,

    as she tenderly freed and hungrily

    handled his dripping

    fruits,

    let them know

    they had a job to do,

    well it just up and popped out,

    “Julnar.”

    Oh? Oh! Open lipped surprise.

    “Julnar!” He pointed

    with unabashed delight. Her eyes

    darkened with honeyed purpose

    when she briefly licked and nipped

    his offered finger.

    “Julnar.” Possessive. He didn’t fight.

    And oh, he was in trouble. A seaborn

    knows how to build, suspend, and execute

    a climax.

    Couldn’t even remember

    his own name in the end. Only hers,

    caught in prayer, liminal space. He learned

    the meaning of devotion

    over and over and over.

    They were married.

    He heard the whole

    of Julnar’s story. They found her family

    rather tripled in size

    and an alliance was made. Mermaid midwives

    delivered their twins, and neighboring peoples

    of land and sea opened trade. Great arches crisscrossed

    the reinforced coastline. Festivals of lights above

    a floating marketplace. Seaborn would join in celebration

    of Lantern Day.

    When one fine dawn

    Shahriman sat beside his wife

    on the shore with her falcon and camel

    with one babe clutching her breast

    while the other slept strapped to a hump,

    and he was so happy he could die, his ribs could crack

    and his soul just fly away,

    the last marid

    momentarily in the form

    of a large leopard seal

    galumphed up to them, Julnar

    called out with joy to him, quite familiar

    with all his shapes and tricky ways.

    Made for introductions, but Shahriman

    recognized a damning shared beauty mark

    on a face untouched by time, son of a,

    faint outrage, the last marid turned to him

    twinkle in his eye

    and said,

    “Wish granted.”

    .

    @~^~

    .

    Well summer is here early and it was either AC for my bedroom or AC for my chickens and I’ll do anything for those flussy cabbages. Plus, I wasn’t willing to incur mortgage sized electric bills yet to do both, so cumulative heat stress had me struggle bussing through my work week like a zombie. Not much time to create when you gotta vegetate and stare at the ceiling for a couple hours just to cool down after clocking 40 and doing chores. Even thinking makes you hot. If I happen to miss a week for the next five or six months, assume I Am Tired.

    .

    Anyways, turns out when you remove all the rape, slavery, and religious fapping from 1K1N you’re left with almost nothing. I pulled from a Shakespeare play and a Bible story—I’m sure you can guess which ones—and hit some notes I’m sure you expect from me by now to spin this yarn.

    April 12, 2026
    storytelling, climate change, one thouand and one nights, sci fi fantasy, adventure, post apocalyptic

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Swan Medicine

    Self Soothing Behavior

    I guess what it comes down to is

    you gotta get the same toys out of the toy box

    even though you’ve never met before.

    And you don’t know what kinda house he came from

    or how he wandered into your neighborhood,

    and maybe some of his toys have been lost or broken

    and he’s holding onto rocks, glass, and trash instead,

    hurting himself,

    and he’s forgotten how to play certain games.

    But even though you’ve been

    the only one of your kind

    your entire life

    you still recognize,

    these toys are the same, in fact,

    in lieu of companionship

    you’ve become an expert toy maker,

    really put the tinker in bell.

    You fix the ones you can, and yeah

    maybe they’re a little different now,

    had to use E6000 and kinda freestyle,

    lil peep of lavender and sparkle just to say

    I Was Here,

    put googly eyes on them rocks and figure it out,

    draw smiley faces, consult the tomes,

    open your best storybooks, string some old Nintendos

    and dial up your weird girl laboratory,

    Lite-Brite, Easy Bake, Precious Metals,

    you’re a mad scientist in a pretty skirt,

    have him hold one of your stuffs

    while you perform your lifesaving operations

    and don’t ever take a bad toy away

    without ready replacement

    all that grown ups try to sell you on poison,

    break your spirit the moment you’re born,

    and maybe he literally came from nowhere,

    outta nothing, some secret wilderness,

    some trickster spirit that heard you at your lowest

    and said I Got This, I can figure out pants.

    Maybe he’s not even human

    and this is day one doing the people business,

    but that’s okay,

    he’s here trying his best,

    this is your person, the point is,

    you get the same toys out of the toy box

    and even if they’re a little different now

    they’re still his originals, the most important

    objects of power. I’ve said

    it’s about intention.

    .

    @~^~

    I guess I felt like writing a small essay.

    .

    Fun fact: Openness to Experience is the most difficult of the Big Five Personality Traits to change because it has a baseline genetic component and is deeply ingrained very early on. It is directly tied to both cognitive style/crystallized intelligence and your inner child, meaning it cannot be easily altered through behavior alone and requires very high cognitive load as what you are addressing is how you think, imagine, and process emotions. Replacing the broken or missing mirror you were given or withheld by your parents/circumstances and holding your own hand while you grow up again. Give yourself the childhood you never had. It’s like trying to divert a river one pebble at a time. Unless someone or something blows outta nowhere and acts as an affectionate landslide. A loving earthquake.

    .

    Abuse and trauma typically smother Openness and heighten Neuroticism, which is the No Good Very Bad Time combination that will either cause or dramatically worsen mental illness. If you add poverty and lack of healthcare to that mix it’s catastrophic. Incidentally, the genes pertaining to intelligence are found on the X chromosome, of which women have two, and estrogen increases neuroplasticity. Both of these things have protective effects against the most debilitating mental illnesses. That women suffer the most from autoimmune disease and mental illnesses despite this biological advantage should tell you something about how toxic this world is. Abnormal and an affront to human dignity.

    .

    What I’m getting at is that calm, joyful, and intelligent moms who don’t settle for subpar mates and are in full control of their environment make resilient babies. It doesn’t matter so much what’s going with the male so long as he isn’t old as fuck or using substances, and is what she genuinely desires—as in, is this who she would choose free of societal conditioning and material leverage? Men basically invented money and religion to artificially inflate their own value and force access to the reproductive labor of women. Created economies of suffering and servitude just for the chance of putting a crown on their heads literally or metaphorically, climbing to the top of some sort of pile even if it’s a mountain of shit and corpses. Muddy the gene pool.

    .

    A major reason I expound upon the subject of true love so much is that most women are lying to themselves and divorced from their own bodies/desires/power. Men certainly do not aspire to the merits of even the most average woman (much less truly see woman as human to begin with). There are of course outliers, but not as many as you would wishfully imagine. So long as this remains the case, our species will continue to deteriorate. The planet will die. So I use the first tools I was ever given: imagination, rhymes, and fairy tales. Do better or perish. Call me a vicious romantic.

    March 29, 2026
    Big Magic, Genetics, Human Evolution, Psychology, Sociology, The Usual, True Love

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Bell Curve

    Right to Roam

    If you will,

    imagine

    an intricately planted

    series of wildlife corridors.

    Great green highways and bridges

    connecting the entire country.

    Roofless follies designed

    to resemble vaulted Catholic churches,

    no priests or confessionals, just hearths

    and wishing wells. Along the way,

    wildcrafted shelters

    and loosely tended campsites

    dotting the new wilderness.

    Enforcement of Dark Sky.

    To wander as a human right.

    Subsidize any and all, whatever scale,

    willing to participate. Tree laws

    enshrined. Consider them

    family members, community centers,

    felling is an absolute last resort,

    not a business plan. Ask your children,

    all of them, to draw a forest. Paint. Write reports.

    Go to bat for their favorites.

    Cede creative control

    to each region within reason.

    Say fuck it we ball coastal redwoods,

    which pair well with huckleberry,

    salmonberry, elderberry, salal, and hazelnut,

    many ferns. When planting,

    remember when mature they are god-sized

    and count their years in the thousands.

    They require ocean mist.

    Weave territories between oak and pecan,

    carefully understoried with pawpaw,

    various brambles, medicinals, and edibles.

    Get you some birch, beech, and sugar maple

    for their nutritious water and syrup, not to mention

    exquisite beauty. Monocrops are a sin. Look,

    when I was a little girl

    I was always happiest

    with scuffed knees in a pretty dress

    covered in dirt with a critter in my hand.

    Give them that.

    Diaper Baby Basics

    Animism and by extension

    shamanism are not the same

    as religion. At the risk of sounding

    Native as fuck, all of life is connected,

    everything has a spirit and the soul

    is a complex, part of a much larger

    organism. We’re here for a time.

    Then we’re something else. Call it

    carbon cycling, reincarnation, whatever.

    Humans

    are uniquely capable of perceiving

    and interfacing with massive ecosystems

    and the collective subconscious, which I’ve said

    is the most powerful tool on Earth.

    Spirit.

    Imagination and pattern recognition,

    the meaning we grant life, both with emotions

    and observation. Art. Song. Rhythm. More on that

    in a bit.

    Was a time we never asked

    where our ancestors went. They resided

    within us, and within our trees,

    so long as they stood

    we knew our place.

    You know, wood

    is probably one of the rarest

    and most precious things in the universe.

    So very much has to go just right

    for it to exist.

    Point is,

    when a member of our community,

    for reasons trauma, genetics, and fate decide,

    robbed of our forest and spiritually homeless,

    cradle to grave exposed to industrial toxins,

    begins seeing, hearing, feeling, and smelling shit we can’t,

    it’s simply to be expected. It’s a symptom of damage

    to our ecosystem, not a pearl-clutching personal failing.

    All that pain

    has to go somewhere. Be remembered.

    The hurt must show its face,

    be embodied,

    in order for a people to act.

    We are given the chance

    to do right by our ancestors.

    Black Magic

    If we’re entertaining the concept,

    healing is messy, dark, and grotesque.

    A shaman is chosen by the spirits

    and a crisis commence. If and only if

    an initiate overcomes this trial

    designed to crush their ego and sever

    attachment to trifling concerns, traverse

    the most harrowing waters

    of the human psyche

    and return as a hollow bone,

    only then

    is a shaman born.

    The precise nature, severity, and duration

    of that trial directly correlates

    to a shaman’s power and intended function.

    Was a time the Big Mamacita land spirits

    could reasonably expect to keep it in the family,

    but should their tribes forget how to listen,

    allow the land’s corrosion, break the faith,

    grow dejected and complacent, take far too long

    to act,

    it is not unheard of

    for a Heavy Hitter to look abroad

    for a better-tuned instrument, a wounded healer,

    to prevent its soul and medicine from being lost,

    fragmented.

    A human mind

    cannot sit with that depth of trauma

    and function. Much less comprehend

    what is going on, who has come to call,

    devoid of direct context. At first.

    The struggle is the point.

    Grief doesn’t have to make sense,

    it must be felt.

    One way or another,

    an initiation results

    in death.

    Chambers

    See it’s not the adversity itself

    that makes you strong. It’s having healed

    in the correct direction, with nourishing bonds

    and coping mechanisms. Bones must be aligned

    properly to set. Wounds need fresh edges.

    It’s plasma and resonance, antibodies,

    a vaccine. Infections must be eliminated

    with extreme prejudice.

    The very first thing

    a fetus is ever aware of

    is its mother’s water. Her heartbeat.

    Tides of respiration.

    It is just the same

    as the primordial ocean,

    in which all life was female, from whence

    all life has come. Music

    and language are seated

    in separate regions of the brain.

    Words are more recent. Prefrontal cortex. But Song

    is very, very old. Nothing less

    than a biological imperative, our blood

    and bones, Her pulse. No two people

    sound exactly the same when they sing,

    nor can they easily hide their emotions doing so.

    I’ve said

    Music itself is the only currency that matters,

    the very bonds

    of social and neurological cohesion.

    It penetrates

    when all other communication fails.

    Reverberation and remembrance.

    Every musician alive regardless of talent,

    every clumsy five fingered clap on mommy’s hands,

    every key smash and twinkle twinkle little star,

    every back-bent AHHHhhwbwwb-b,

    babble and happy food-smeared hum

    is doing something more important

    than any president or prime minister.

    You can quote me on that.

    And when it comes to love,

    any discussion of the mythical One,

    that’s when you are so moved

    by another’s fine spirit

    for all its joy, agony, and quirks,

    there’s visceral appreciation

    for its growth habits,

    and somehow so far apart, a song

    between two sets of bones, a language

    only you know.

    It doesn’t have to make sense.

    Osiris

    Now sans the woo woo drum circle bullshit,

    as well as the misguided uppity bias of psych,

    I can give you the nightmare skinny dip

    on soul retrieval, what to do

    when you have missing parts—

    and lemme tell ya, ages ago, ever since

    my childhood friend got wasted,

    screwed around with some cards

    and then randomly texted me to say

    my soulmate’s soul was shattered, just FYI,

    boy tore up from the floor up

    Possessed of the Blues, and I

    was his only hope at a happy endng

    despite my own life look a bomb went off,

    well,

    I’ve thought about it—

    sorry champ your parents failed,

    assuming they ain’t dead, so,

    now you gotta go on a quest.

    Like several.

    Gotta parent yourself.

    It’s almost impossible to do alone,

    and I would never suggest

    you walk the path I have, but

    if you were there here I am,

    wherever I’m needed,

    the cold third wind from a crack inside

    where you found a reason,

    any reason,

    my love, we have all night.

    Pray you live somewhere with healthcare

    if nothing and no one else, go everywhere

    you puked and shat, every miserable hole

    you crawled into and out of

    for the sake of, I’m guessing, shooting up,

    ’cause there’s really only one drug

    acts a pale substitute for a real woman’s love,

    and my wild guesses are very rarely wrong,

    unless you’ve got more tedious and convoluted

    addictions—and hey man,

    at least you’re not a shitstain oil tycoon

    or an insurance agent, not to be like

    It Could Be Worse—

    I digress.

    Gotta change your own diapers.

    Snatch clown shit out your own mouth. Create

    a support network. Crash pads. Meet yourself

    where you’re at. Make friends,

    even if they aren’t real. Talk to them.

    I said what I said, who cares

    what normies think. Run commentary,

    but this time,

    be kind,

    you know like Long Night at the Me Museum.

    Remember, you are not less

    worthy of affection

    than a dog. Any given stray. Parvo or mange.

    Think back. Is there anything else

    your new friends observe?

    No matter how small. A chubby cloud,

    a tasty snack, a chip of paint.

    Clean underwear. Warm socks.

    Managed to put on pants.

    Went outside and sat.

    Here’s one of mine:

    One time I almost died.

    Alcohol poisoning. Don’t ask.

    Someone I thought hated my guts

    stayed by my side, herself drunk,

    while I vomited until I turned blue,

    forced me to sip water and threatened

    to put her fingers down my throat if I stopped.

    In the end,

    she had to bodily support my torso.

    My limbs were useless noodles.

    I bled through my pants.

    Gotta love being a woman.

    I couldn’t even lift my own head,

    cold as toilet bowl porcelain.

    So very tired.

    She fell into the tub first,

    because drunk,

    and said I was supposed to be there,

    indignant huff.

    Once she achieved her original objective,

    and turned the shower knob

    as hot as it would go,

    hoisted my naked body in there

    with many a grunt,

    that was the best shower ever, man,

    if I was gonna go, at least I’d die knowing

    the supreme comfort

    of rock bottom shower slump,

    hypothermia edition. I was one

    with that tub. My horrible mermaid cradle.

    Once I regained sufficient color we emerged

    from a wall of steam

    and there

    was my terrified Good Girl roommate,

    her Catholic ass holding a candle wide-eyed,

    strange boys asleep on our floor

    (in an all-girls dorm),

    someone told me I sounded like Satan,

    never before heard such noises

    coming out of a human—my body

    had expelled, well, everything, with such force

    it became a cavernous death growl

    in a tiled amplifier—

    and at some point,

    my bed.

    The cheapest piece of shit ever, half a step above floor,

    but man, in that moment,

    Best Bed.

    Quickly followed by Best Sleep.

    In the morning I was glowing.

    The second I opened my eyes,

    a stage whisper squeak,

    “Are you okay?”

    My poor roommate, in utter silence

    had tracked my breaths

    all night, vowed

    to keep me alive.

    From then on, I decided

    that should anyone ever need my help,

    I’d go at least that hard. So.

    You’re coming with me,

    silly papa goose, if I gotta

    huck you over my shoulders

    and strap you into a wheelchair,

    and I tell you, after all that,

    you’ll never taste

    pizza so good, I’m talking whole pie,

    don’t

    make me do airplane sounds,

    here comes the choo choo train.

    Third Space

    What did I mean by uppity bias?

    That’s professionals

    from middle to upper class backgrounds

    placing the biomedicalized onus on the individual

    without first and foremost

    examining the system itself,

    particularly

    the allostatic load

    of poverty. Race. Sex.

    Salt when a white collar

    spends their life

    polishing their personal gear, a cog really,

    in the Suffering and Exploitation Machine

    thinking it won’t be what it be

    the brighter it gleams, chasing money,

    retirement—the ultimate pipe dream—

    it’ll hurt less if you lubricate. Maybe.

    The point is,

    do you want to function,

    or do you want to live?

    Go outside.

    Social Services are just janitors

    mopping slime off the slaughterhouse floor

    right before the next round gets shoved

    through the meat grinder.

    Go outside.

    Salt cedars, crabgrass, broken glass,

    cactus, burs, bugs, reptiles and dogs

    were all I had. It didn’t matter

    that my reading comprehension tested at

    university levels

    when I was six years old.

    Thanks grandpa.

    Nothing people hate more

    than a girl with a smart mouth

    and an excellent bullshit detector.

    Rural teachers had no fucking idea

    what to do

    when we drew wonky crayon picture books

    and mine featured a serial killer

    in a field of flowers

    and pipe bomb instructions, which I sussed

    after having a think about fireworks

    and tweaker junk.

    I did not have…people. Peers.

    Parents who gave a fuck.

    They asked me to teach

    the second language learners

    because I was such a good girl.

    Which doesn’t work

    on neglected baby gangsters

    unless you write smut. Lemme tell ya,

    Mexicans love Dragon Ball Z, especially

    Bulma and Vegeta. Just FYI.

    We’ll pass the Proper Person Exams

    with flying colors boys, just hold tight.

    When you’re older

    I’ll be the grand interpreter

    of wordy paperwork bullshit,

    three pages just to say

    your mom has advanced arthritis in her hips

    in early middle age from being a maid.

    Here’s some tamarind, black pepper,

    ginger and turmeric about it

    ’cause you sure as fuck can’t afford meds,

    much less double hip replacement.

    Also, city’s on your ass with a 500 dollar fine

    about weeds.

    God forbid there’s a grass. A single speck of green.

    Went to college for a bit.

    Wasn’t impressed.

    When it comes to the world of men,

    my life’s been one long Ron Swanson

    I Know More Than You meme. Don’t

    mistake my processing speed

    for flippancy. Don’t

    ever feel discouraged by a diagnosis

    ’cause these fools done goddamn fuck all

    with their pedigree Very Good Brains.

    Just fancy pawns

    for the military industrial complex,

    which is what you get

    chasing recognition and accolades,

    when schools are structured

    to funnel you into STEM saying

    you just need to be “challenged”

    and notice

    that challenge is never

    forestry or humanities.

    What good are executive functions,

    metacognition, if all you do

    is bend over and spread your cheeks?

    Dawdle on red herrings as our planet dies?

    Choose which evil organization

    to sell your patented cell-injecting nanites?

    Sometimes, I just call a spade a spade.

    Better to be loyal, loving, and brave.

    Walk a path for the music it makes.

    There only needs to be one of me.

    Go outside. Don’t be afraid.

    This place done everything in its power

    to insist

    that I too would be a pathetic coward

    if only I Understood the Rules,

    knew how much tings huwt.

    I comprehend.

    Tree is good.

    March 22, 2026
    environment, indigenous, just talking really, mystery, Psychology, social justice, sometimes I sit with the mockingbirds before dawn with a concotion and think, storytelling

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Three this time

    To the Tune of Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow

    .

    Cast your shadow long tonight

    Hollow as the wind is high

    I said let down your hair at Babel’s end

    Are you strong enough to be my man?

    My man

    .

    Nothing’s true and nothing’s right

    That so well all I know is fight

    ‘Cause you can’t change the way I am

    Are you strong enough to be my man?

    .

    Cry to me

    I’m here until you sleep

    Cry to me

    But please don’t leave

    Don’t leave

    .

    I have a face I cannot show

    I make the rules up as I go

    Just try to love me if you can

    Are you strong enough to be my man?

    My man

    .

    When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care

    When it’s real don’t mean it’s always there

    When you’ve tumbled down you’ll understand

    Would you be man enough to be my man?

    .

    Cry to me

    I’m here until you sleep

    Cry to me

    But please don’t leave

    Don’t leave

    .

    To the Tune of Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel

    .

    People losing what’s left of life through a screen

    They say just gotta hustle, and you agree

    He says, “Bring those girls in short shorts thirteen years old”

    Says, “Stay sweet to me and a star is born”

    Another check another tip if you just lick boots and kiss ass

    So heaven blessed for that Puritan work ethic but

    .

    Who will save your souls?

    When God went where the bees gone

    Who will save your souls?

    After all those lies that you told, boy

    Now, who will save your souls?

    If you won’t save your own?

    .

    We try to cleanse and manifest and nonviolently protest

    The cops get off and off if you’ve got a thousand cameras

    Another day, another dollar, another sign, a fist is power

    Drain the grid just use wind and solar

    Starve as many gods as there are flowers so we don’t feel change

    And think religion growth benign

    Done no wrong ain’t the same as doin’ right

    There’s no better place without sting of sacrifice

    .

    Who will save your souls?

    When it comes to the Johns now

    Who will save your souls?

    After all those lies that you told, boy?

    And who will save your souls?

    If you won’t save your own?

    .

    Some are walkin’, some are talkin’, some are influencers

    Silver tongue enough followers and it might pay your bills

    There are subscriptions to feed and there are mouths to pay

    Ballot box of Devils so long as you’re okay for today

    Says he loves you but where’s all the fun all

    “Hun I’m polyamorous

    HPV but it’s all love

    More sex means more empowerment

    My dick has profit margins so”

    Just get out on the streets girls, and bust your butts

    .

    Who will save your soul?

    When you’re just a featherweight?

    Who will save your souls?

    After all those lies that you told, boy?

    And who will save your soul?

    If you won’t save your own?

    Try this new supplement yeah just

    Buy your time, just buy your time

    .

    To the Tune of Possession by Sarah McLachlan

    .

    Listen through the leaves love

    There’s no distance can divide

    Timber creaks in yearning

    Ripples back in time

    The night is my companion

    And solitude my guide

    Would I spend forever here

    And not be satisfied

    .

    And I would be the one

    To hold you down

    Kiss you so hard

    I’ll take your breath away

    And after I’d, wipe away the tears

    Just close your eyes dear

    .

    Through this world I’ve hungered

    For someone unafraid

    Trying to do a Mother’s work

    To find the Earth enslaved

    Oh you speak to me in riddles

    You speak to me in rhymes

    Your body aches to breathe my breath

    My words keep you alive

    .

    Beneath these stars you wander

    It’s morning that you dread

    Another day of holding on

    This path they warn against

    Oh into the sea of waking dreams

    I’m waiting just outside

    Nothing stands between us here

    And I won’t be denied

    .

    And I would be the one

    To hold you down

    Kiss you so hard

    I’ll take your breath away

    And after I’d, wipe away the tears

    Just close your eyes dear

    .

    I’ll hold you down

    Kiss you so hard

    I’ll take your breath away

    And after I’d, wipe away the tears

    Just close your eyes

    .

    @~^~

    Listen, ever since I was a little girl I knew I needed to be the terrifying Older woman in a gothic romance. Like oh nooooo, does your oddly fair and slender son have a Touch of the Melancholy? Does he…Commune with Spirits? Exhibit Fits of Divine Madness? Might I suggest he Take the Airs of my Sprawling Forest Estate and assume residence in my Very Normal Perfectly Safe Ancient Castle Covered in Moss? I merely wish to…watch him traipse about in the night scurring him own self like… a beautiful deer in a white dress shirt. No, that is not my tummy rumbling. Those are sounds of pure contentment. Nothing but honorable intentions I assure you.

    March 15, 2026
    enrichment in my enclosure, folk, gothic romance, I slow down sometimes, lyrics

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Book Learning and Dream Weaving

    Original Sin

    I suppose first

    I’ll hit you with a list

    of relevant scholars, no need

    to take my word, by all means

    educate yourself: Marija Gimbutas,

    Riane Eisler, Charlene Spretnak,

    and Merlin Stone. Towards the end

    of the Bronze Age there was a shift—

    earlier or later depending on the area—

    a violent wind, a novel virus,

    take that mass grave

    recently revealed. Patriarchal pastoralists

    so very concerned with the unchecked spread

    of their herds and seed, sought to destroy

    the forest.

    Systems so sophisticated they mistook

    millennia of patient, symbiotic cultivation

    for “wild” or “unkempt.”

    The merciless slaughter

    of predominantly women and girls

    from the entire region. Some boys and young males

    who likely chose death over betrayal. The youngest

    an infant son. Was that mercy? Valuables removed,

    seeds tossed upon their corpses, a dead animal.

    Did the men who survived

    think they’d change the system

    from the inside? We see real clear now

    how that turned out, how many thousands

    of times did this play out? To what

    do intermittent good intentions amount?

    Inside every woman

    is a mass grave.

    If you ever think

    I’m being too harsh, my eye sharp,

    consider the gaping silence

    of more than half of humanity

    as I decide exactly how much mercy

    I think you deserve.

    Preeclampsia

    Mitochondrial Eve lived

    about 200,000 years ago

    give or take and to be clear:

    their brains were just like ours.

    So I ask

    what is more likely, that “civilization”

    began 6000 years ago,

    or that men kill, steal, and lie?

    Annihilate and corrupt out of jealousy?

    How many silenced mothers?

    What wisdom lost?

    So men could play at God,

    pretend to be our equals, superiors,

    in the act of creation.

    I think the fuck not.

    They say Neanderthals perished

    because their heads were too large,

    excessive maternal mortality

    decimated their numbers.

    Their bodies couldn’t handle

    building brains. A dangerous business.

    You know they grew

    because women were always keeping track

    of extended family, inventing language,

    and juggling tasks while raising babes.

    We made that happen. We tended forests.

    We didn’t cling to monuments, proof, our “mark”,

    it lived and breathed all around us.

    Everyone knew which woman you came out of,

    the other women were there.

    All this religion and pedantry,

    scientists, politicians, CEOs, and nobility,

    too big for the britches their women wash,

    eyes ten times the size of their stomachs,

    and not a man in sight

    could faithfully manage

    to put the work in, humble enough

    to meet me in the garden.

    Happy Families

    Just get the roots in the ground,

    quit fucking around, if She don’t

    want it there, She’ll tell you. Simple.

    The components of a fruit tree guild:

    nitrogen fixers, dynamic accumulators,

    pollinator attractors, pest repellents

    and ground covers/mulchers.

    Central element, fertilizer,

    nutrient miners, insectary plants,

    pest deterrents, chop-and-drop

    where applicable. Find a spot

    and get it done. Shit, use a stock tank.

    Use several. You don’t have to grow out,

    you can grow up.

    Quarter of an acre is plenty enough,

    corners and abandoned lots,

    seed bombs. Oops did I

    fuck up your lawn? Your

    deadzone grass expanse? Oh shit,

    there’s mint. How’d that get there.

    Brambles bitch. Mystery flowers.

    Would be a damn shame

    if your excessive number of ruminants

    came down with indigestion.

    Don’t neglect

    your natives, I favor

    windbreaks of oak, coppiced alder—

    which can aid in feeding chinampas,

    that’s zones 4 on up so no excuses—

    red osier dogwood and assorted

    bog friendly berries. Acid lovers.

    Birch.

    Mind the slope, pH, and sun’s path.

    Every day, at all times, walk the land.

    Soil should never be exposed

    or compressed. A forest

    creates its own rain in a process

    called transpiration.

    Stabilizes water tables, sinks carbon,

    seeds clouds.

    The world is bankrupt on that front,

    imminent bread basket collapse,

    or shall I call them plundered cradles,

    devastated ecosystems,

    irreversible damage driven

    by agriculture and industrial waste.

    So go piss on that compost pile,

    even shit recycles, give back what you took,

    you belong

    to the land and its creatures, all of them,

    those relationships are what make you

    a people. You are born

    with obligations. You are the elected official.

    You. Yes you. Do you live here? Show of hands,

    that’s behavioral activation, every fucking day,

    children do as you do, not as you say,

    life doesn’t happen at a desk or at a screen.

    Are you tired? So am I. A tiny thing

    is still a thing. Go outside. Go outside.

    Go outside and identify

    three places, flora, or fauna who need help.

    Look back in time, a tree’s reckoning,

    that’s some distance, who’s missing?

    No bears or wolves? Shame,

    there’s no such thing as a weed or pest,

    only imbalance. A broken loop.

    Parasitic priorities.

    Take responsibility.

    What are you waiting for,

    the divine right of kings?

    Otherworlds

    You could say

    I’m pretty intense about plants.

    The environment. Animals. Well,

    long ago

    during the sputtering remains of my youth

    and early adulthood, somewhere in the third phase

    amid a years long brutal depression,

    wherein my limbs felt like leaden sand,

    and every single word I spoke

    took as much effort as hauling an anchor

    from the Mariana Trench, and my chest

    keened every single moment I drew breath,

    and I wept and wept and wept,

    I dreamt

    walking through my brother’s house,

    empty, a ghost, and as I passed

    a door, I saw my reflection

    distantly lit in a dark bathroom mirror.

    I had hair.

    As it is now in fact, perhaps not as much

    white,

    and an entire half of my naked body

    was tattooed with branches and vines

    in technicolor, both fruiting and flowering.

    Shivering and writhing.

    Never heard such a thing in all my life.

    Before I could investigate,

    I was called away. Deployed. Apparently

    my mission was to find and wake

    a Lord of the Earth, the one

    I was bound to and responsible for.

    No backup. No assist. No resources.

    I had to get it done.

    I flew over a barren landscape

    such as the desert I grew up in, ravaged and rootless,

    where the sun, soil, and water were all poison,

    and entered a massive glowering cavern,

    an unknowable chasm,

    to call out into the unmade place

    that it should learn from me its purpose,

    and I mine.

    I revived a mighty green beast,

    green as the dawn through new leaves,

    called Her forth from deepest shadow,

    a Hadal zone.

    Rainbow gems and precious metals

    pebbled in Her armored hide, along Her back

    light spilling and splashing through fountain-like,

    so architectural these spine ridges

    as humans could literally settle there.

    She was enormous. A titan. Born

    of dark waters and crushing Earth.

    No matter the cost,

    I had to protect Her.

    When I woke, I remembered

    that for a tree to both fruit and flower

    you must graft a number of scions

    onto desirable rootstock, otherwise

    a tree exhibits this behavior on its own

    only when under extreme duress,

    such as environmental collapse.

    And when I woke,

    having crossed at last

    the cursed slumber itself,

    I found that I was somehow both

    much, much older

    and much, much younger

    than my ordinary peers.

    For everyone else

    lifetimes had passed, we had nothing,

    no language of experience in common,

    whereas I had only just begun.

    My Island

    More recently,

    my Ex disregarded

    all my explicit warnings, wasn’t even looking

    straight ahead, and drove the truck

    off a cliff

    into the ocean, I kicked out the window,

    climbed around and jumped off the bed

    onto some kinda

    sea stack situation

    and somehow Donkey Konged my way

    onto a bright and cheerful boardwalk.

    Gathering my wits I pulled a paper

    outta nowhere and drew a map,

    my property a distant compass star, and I explained

    the precise shape of this new mass

    to a mysterious onlooker. This shape,

    as I began outlining the first coastal section

    on the upper left, was like an anatomical heart

    if you roughed it up a bit

    or kinda a lot—like damn

    no need to call me out like that—

    and suddenly my map sprung to life,

    became a little bird in flight.

    I chased the mischief creature

    along some kinda kaleidoscopic pub complex—

    truly an excessive amount in one spot,

    and to be clear I rarely drink, though

    I thoroughly enjoy the pub atmosphere,

    I wouldn’t say that I literally Heart them,

    but I digress—

    I breezed through

    open doors and windows

    into an ambered wood interior,

    heard pleasing muffled chatter,

    laughter and clinks in the next room,

    and some man’s

    very beautiful singing voice. That voice alone

    enough to get you drunk. Them tingly thighs.

    Sunlight poured

    through every orifice, puddled

    on the glossy wood, and I sensed

    the distinct hover of a Mama

    showing you baby pictures

    of her Very Good Son.

    I stood there and listened—

    and listen,

    the only acceptable response

    is yes Mama I do hear him,

    you taught him up right,

    ’cause he could be a rat bastard

    but fact of the matter is

    mama’s a mama and every mama

    risked her life, her babies

    been the only point

    she’s allowed pride,

    so you tell her good job

    even if he comes home in a box,

    that’s just manners,

    but I digress—

    Did my due diligence,

    but I wasn’t there tryna snoop,

    didn’t pursue the song to its source,

    for though I’m highly curious, I’m not one

    to derail a mission. On task.

    I bowed out to go recover the truck,

    for my family could only afford one vehicle,

    and it doubled as the backup generator

    for my mother’s oxygen when the power failed (often),

    with or without my Ex’s body inside, I must

    retrieve it before I did anything else,

    but the tide had risen, gulls wheeled above, water

    lapped my ankles,

    the way I’d come was gone.

    If I strove forward, gentle but insurmountable

    waves pushed me back. I knew better

    than to fight nature.

    Just as I puzzled my reroute,

    I was scooped up in a big net,

    and this rather pushy promenade or…spirit seemed

    to clutch me to its bosom. Such as it was,

    shifting jumble of homes and businesses,

    all the little people, pulse of the land beneath.

    Like shit alright fine, you win.

    Shimmied a bit in my new predicament,

    idly wondering

    if I’d just been abducted,

    straight Shanghaied.

    But it was such a fine day,

    a most jubilant sea spray.

    Finally a pair of fishermen

    in funny squish caps

    saw me

    and scratched their heads.

    They opted to bring me in,

    and joy or fragile hope leaked from my eyes,

    sweetly salted cheeks, and I don’t have these

    two firm seals for nothing so

    my next order of business was all,

    ahem,

    I presume

    that you are some fisher-mans,

    I too would like some fishes,

    never mind what you expected

    to find in this net, seafood

    is in fact

    my favorite.

    Anyway, when I woke

    and took my morning scroll, I stumbled upon

    another distant (digital) shore,

    that Polynesian lovers’ tale all random like,

    alright,

    I know when I’m being told.

    A Good Man is Hard to Find

    Enter an origami plane,

    battlefronts collide, a storm

    across all of spacetime, dancing

    across tipping points

    wherever inspiration did strike.

    My usual

    backdrop of chaos and strife.

    Just dubstep, death growls, trap, arias,

    cellos and silence.

    I broke through

    to a crumbling place,

    some conglomerate Tetris city’s dregs,

    and I answered

    a cursed boy’s

    unintentional distress signal.

    Brushstrokes heavy and frenetic. Dark.

    Whenever he tried

    to speak from the heart,

    tell a girl he loved her,

    she mutated beyond all recognition.

    One immediately vomited and convulsed,

    warped and unraveled into sand.

    Another tried so hard to retain

    her form, concept of worth, values

    until she too devolved into

    material riches. Jewelry and such. Gold.

    So much. So much.

    They fell through his hands.

    All I could specifically identify

    was pale eyes and a pale face

    wasted with tears. Mute terror.

    When I reached out

    to collect his precious salt, give comfort,

    my wings more than strong enough

    to take a passenger—this little wisp,

    perhaps a gremlin of sorts, a glitch,

    not so scary as all that—

    he started and scuttled away

    like some cephalopod ink sploot.

    Mischief creature.

    Whatever his curse entailed, alas,

    I hadn’t the chance

    to address. Step one

    would have been retrofit

    secure attachment, establish

    object permanence, evaluate

    locus of control and repair or replace.

    Yes, yes, I’m a deft hand at curses, courtesy

    of my prickly and forbidding nature, big

    and warm but just a lil stabby stab. Alas,

    I remained

    the unseen. Misunderstood. That one’s mine.

    An old, old woman

    suddenly beside me with an easel,

    the two of us standing on jagged cement

    at the edge of everything, she scowled

    and said that I am not afraid

    because my body is a prison,

    that I’ll give no quarter

    if he sets me free.

    Talked mad shit, evaluated

    whether or not I’d balk

    or be cowed. As if I hadn’t spent

    decades being Too Much, as if I’d grown

    up into the kinda bitch wears a bra

    or gives a fuck. She showed me the canvas

    where she’d painted some primordial

    darkness as a harrowing thrush

    of nebula splatter ravens affixed

    the branches of a gnarled tree,

    crown to roots penetrating

    every layer of reality,

    springfire green streams

    coursing up the trunk, motes

    flickering, pulsating veins

    through a blackened artery.

    Behind closed lids, a feathered pair

    of ultraviolet eyes in the sky. That old woman,

    though her own eyes sparkled vicious approval,

    her tone suggested I should be horrified,

    apologize for my shameless spread, but inside

    every woman

    is a mass grave.

    March 8, 2026
    Adventures in Slumberland, mental hellth, shaman shenanigans, spook juice subconscious, storytelling

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    Love Island!

    Once was a great chief

    there at Ōwhata along the shores

    of Lake Rotorua, back when

    the forest was vast and people fewer.

    He held important meetings of the tribe

    who traveled from all around,

    and certainly every young man of rank

    contended for his beautiful daughter’s hand.

    A Māori was marked first with their lineage,

    seniority within this, power and sacredness,

    status may be marginally increased

    through such means as leadership, bravery,

    generosity and craft.

    Men’s pedigree made quite plain, still,

    all of these suitors summarily rejected.

    From a small island far away,

    in the center of that lake,

    Tūtānekai came. Though he be

    of good family, he had low rank,

    declined to participate and yet

    feats upon feats attained, a man possessed

    from the very first glance. His heart winged

    in pursuit of the deep waters

    of Hinemoa’s eyes. He simply couldn’t resist,

    as sure as the Pāpango must dive,

    and like the Pūtangitangi stately and fine

    would mate for life.

    Knew his mate on sight.

    It was hopeless.

    He let it all out with his instrument,

    a poet’s wind in his flute and well,

    he bore the marks of that too.

    Sensitive swirls upon muscle bellies, something

    both soft and hard. This man tuned heads.

    And yet and yet though he mooned

    anguished and content

    from afar

    for quite some time,

    it seemed his glances were returned.

    Slowly realized

    no wishful trick of the light,

    Hinemoa’s carefully swept gaze

    made her interest quite plain,

    created an intimate space.

    Tūtānekai dared

    a single message.

    Who knows what it said.

    Until this point,

    the pair had both been too shy.

    She replied,

    “Have we each then

    loved alike?”

    He wasted no time,

    made good on all those years

    they pined,

    bid she join with him

    on Mokoia Island, his home,

    for though it was small

    it was lush and free

    from predators. So very many

    birds, imagine the cloaks

    sleek, shimmering, vibrant and warm.

    He would take care of her.

    Hinemoa promised

    she would go.

    At night, he told her,

    listen for my flute. It is I,

    come in your canoe.

    She would seek him

    under cover of darkness,

    against her tribe’s wishes.

    That chief didn’t miss a thing,

    wasn’t born yesterday, had a sense

    of her plans.

    Her tribe pulled all the canoes back.

    And every night Hinemoa wept

    bitter black

    as her love played on, her song,

    heart hurled against the bars

    of her ribs, she wished to join in,

    did he wonder why

    she hadn’t come? Think himself

    spurned? Unwanted after all? She would go,

    she would go, she would go.

    Where she belonged.

    Hinemoa didn’t give up.

    She snuck off

    and strapped gourds to herself.

    How great could be this distance?

    She would simply swim,

    walked into the dark water

    met by dark horizon

    and listened.

    The lake was very cold

    and very deep, seemed endless.

    She grew tired

    and scared, the gourds chaffed.

    Still he played.

    And she swam.

    Only the tenuous curling notes

    of their promise to navigate by.

    There was no turning back.

    The shore at last.

    Wracked with shivers

    she shed her sodden clothes, sore,

    and sought a volcanic pool. Warmth.

    The moon from behind clouds,

    she awaited his song once more.

    Instead, a slave came down

    to fetch Tūtānekai some water,

    parched from the wooing of her.

    She hid and called out in a man’s voice,

    who goes there? Give me that gourd.

    He complied. She drank and shattered it.

    The slave returned empty handed.

    Baffled, Tūtānekai sent him back.

    She did it again.

    Now he was pissed,

    marched to that pool square,

    ready to beat some naked man’s ass.

    Hinemoa hid

    as he grasped about the bushes

    all come on out and get your whoopins,

    oh ho what’s this?

    A woman’s wrist.

    She slipped out, now bathed

    in crepuscular rays, it is I.

    Hinemoa.

    Striking as the white hawk,

    gracefully wading as the crane,

    bare before him, abrasions soothed

    in the moonlight.

    He ceased to function

    for several minutes.

    The he wrapped her in his cloak,

    his hand beneath hers leading

    through dense wood

    towards his village. Home.

    Past the threshold at last

    and well

    that’s all that was required then

    to be man and wife.

    Slow and careful, a secret

    between them, quiet,

    he made her properly warm.

    The gig was up come morning

    as he never slept in so late,

    indeed usually the first to wake,

    his father sent a slave and spied

    not one

    but two pairs of feet, family is nosy,

    announced to the whole village

    who looked on with gaping disbelief

    as Tūtānekai emerged with Hinemoa beside him.

    Oh this was sure to cause an incident,

    but that’s a story for another time.

    Of course, their descendants

    inhabit Mokoia to this day,

    March 1, 2026
    fairytale, folklore, Māori, storytelling

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    Phantom Queen 1/X: Maiden Voyage

    Night Hag

    Ha ha empowerment

    is that what you call it

    lick the bars of your cage

    spittin’ bars bits on display

    Sephora clown face

    b-b-but I gowt paywd

    stand next some wimpy ass

    tenor in a t-shirt duet

    like you two the same.

    I said what I said,

    oh you keep it covered?

    Some bullshit funeral shroud,

    God or Allah who gives a fuck,

    can’t keep your house in check

    simperin’ over some big man’s book,

    deep throatin’ a cross,

    what’s that sis?

    Can’t fuckin’ hear ya.

    Gods forbid you have daughters,

    the fuck you even teach them?

    Mamas on Two-X Preppers

    stockpilin’ Plan B cause they seen

    what happen to Ukraine, cause men

    all men

    got a loaded gun in their pants

    and they can only understand

    self defense after the fact,

    think a baby is the only

    permanent consequence,

    turn your flesh into a prison,

    a desecrated temple instead of fight back,

    take it, here’s a hint if you can manage

    through your cowardice,

    takes less than two minutes

    to choke a man to death,

    go rear naked, you’re on the right track

    if his breath rattlin’ and clabberin’,

    do not permit him to beg.

    You owe your daughters that.

    Blunt Instrument

    I ask

    how far are you willin’ to go

    for that belief? Do you believe

    a woman has the right inviolate

    to live free? To stand up and expect

    pleasure from her men? Respect?

    That’s a world we don’t live in

    without violence. Full stop. Dead

    silence. Don’t make me drop stats.

    Not a country on this Earth withstands

    this kegel clench, birth rate in our hands,

    crush its fuckin’ windpipe, I’ve had enough

    of men speakin’ for several lifetimes,

    p-p-population decline,

    b-b-but I’m a good guy,

    3C maybe we’ll survive,

    bred a sea of baritones ’cause well,

    that’s what the goddess likes,

    and all they do is spout nonsense,

    puff their chests and lie,

    dinky paper-pushin’ Xys, no cap,

    he’s a tiny guy, they wrote it down

    oh wow must be civilized,

    ladies, ladies, change takes time,

    the world’s oh so scawy outside

    these lines. The-the economy,

    lil boy holdin’ his GD pee pee,

    it’s all about paper money see?

    Never mind the price.

    Chooser of the Slain

    Here’s a bitter pill,

    or better here’s a pie,

    sweet yew berries sans seeds,

    spit the arils all spittoon ping,

    most the people in prison

    shouldn’t be there, ping,

    prisons are little better, barely more

    than concentration camps, isolation

    and social death are forms of torture,

    and then of course the slave labor,

    m-m-made in America,

    ping,

    they never serve the people,

    only the parasites in power, ping,

    gonna need more than black walnut,

    more than wormwood hun, be shittin’

    your whole intestines into that pot,

    justice is never somethin’ you outsource,

    want a man gone from sight forever?

    That decision’s yours if you got guts

    enough to swallow. That’s the flavor

    of a big girl. They know well enough

    what a woman is when they wanna rape one,

    they’ll string your corpse up on the off chance

    it’s a son,

    brain dead or mentally impaired matters not,

    they’ll get you with child while droolin’ bed bound,

    man drugs his wife and lets the whole town

    in on the fun, top bottom rich to poor,

    even the ones declined didn’t try

    to make it stop.

    If you slit all their throats right now,

    bled ’em dry just because,

    that’s a net positive, world peace,

    look me in the fuckin’ eyes

    and deny, tell me I’m wrong.

    Those men shoved women and girls down

    to evacuate Afghanistan,

    oh they know all about sloppy pull out,

    girls committin’ suicide on video

    ’cause they’ve lost all hope,

    only light left in their sweet eyes

    at the end of tunnel, fuck all you Abrahamics,

    and bitch I ain’t Catholic

    so miss me with that guilt trip, I’m captain

    of the fuckin’ ghost ship, welcome

    to your final destination, men’s dread

    my favorite lubricant,

    ugly ass billy goat backbirths

    sayin’ girls can’t go to school or leave the house,

    dumpin’ ’em in unmarked graves, just ditches,

    honor killins,

    ravagin’ child brides c-c-cause Pwophet Muhhamed,

    throwin’ acid on her face ’cause she showed it,

    buncha coulda-shoulda-been abortions,

    ladies, ladies, it’s not too late,

    I’m pro-choice at any stage,

    if there’s really a paradise full o’ virgins

    I hope it’s all men, eternal torment,

    human centipede sick, go gag

    and take it up the ass ’til you’re splattered carbon,

    I hope it feels like razor blades both ends,

    point is point is,

    don’t you ever just

    wanna go ape shit?

    If he ask ’bout that ditch he up against,

    tell him your mama said.

    No Uncertain Terms

    Gosh you might’ve guessed,

    I don’t do passive aggression,

    here’s the line toe it or else,

    ain’t do this shit for my health,

    ain’t needlessly direct it’s about

    honor, chivalry, my position is

    so you know where to stand,

    I’ll announce the once to be fair,

    you were warned.

    Ladies he’s doin’ it on purpose,

    he wouldn’t do it to another man,

    wouldn’t do it to bear, stop talkin’,

    walkin’ yo fool ass in pigeon circles

    chasin’ crumbs of communication

    meet him in the middle nah bitch

    that’s where traffic is, only pea brains

    and class traitors chase dick.

    That castle weren’t built on love,

    that’s all leverage and bondage,

    that’s right I kinkshame, who benefits

    when men ejaculate to pain? Submission?

    Don’t fool yourself,

    dominatrix ain’t flipped script,

    mind those fuckin’ neural paths,

    if he don’t like the way your pussy smell,

    he don’t like sex,

    thinks she ain’t got hair, thinks

    to stick it in before you’re drippin‘ wet,

    sweatin’ yo foundation with a bald cat,

    fixin’ get a yeast infection that’s assumin’

    he even bothers to pet that.

    Don’t take him to mount

    if he don’t got a lick o’ sense

    about his mouth an’ hands,

    if you gotta sit there teach him

    get trainin’ wheels an’ a bib,

    man can’t suck a crawdad

    don’t even know what butter is

    asks you where the seasonins

    don’t know a fuck thing ’bout the kitchen

    in the house you both live in.

    Shout Out Circe

    Now, I don’t hate men

    all evidence the contrary,

    what I despise is weakness

    masqueradin’ as strength,

    an’ they playin’ big mans on the holodeck

    while women get arthritis in they hips an’ backs

    all fap fap fap while fuck ass agent orange

    shits himself on live broadcast. Don’t worry,

    we won’t escalate, we’ll record diligently

    as they drag our neighbors away, execute

    civilians in broad daylight, how unserious

    that ice, learned nothin’ off George Floyd

    who cried out for his mama

    right before he died. How many more

    beyond your line of sight? Keep sayin’ guys

    let’s do this right, N-N-Nuremberg trials,

    bitch where the rest them Nazis go?

    They saw us and took notes.

    Police don’t arrest their own.

    They’re all just pigs playin’ dress up,

    turned it all into a swamp, a basement,

    an’ you got your tits out servin’ hot pockets,

    bendin’ over turnin’ cheeks, put ’em over the knee,

    wield the only language they speak, ain’t respect,

    I told you mind the fuckin’ leverage, the number one

    goal of every virus

    is reproduction.

    Kingmaker

    Ever notice how they always

    want you hold their guns?

    Like please ma’am this my young son

    AR Custom, alterations highly illegal,

    if you could just put a few rhymes,

    welcome him to the family,

    don’t ask how I somehow always

    end up with a whole ass armory,

    didn’t drop a cent my own money,

    thing ’bout AZ love or hate,

    we got castle doctrine on steroids,

    these parts stand your ground means

    you under no obligation to deescalate,

    invasion of public or private space

    means shoot first questions later,

    prison? Jail? Nah, jury of your peers,

    been firearms on every kitchen table

    I ever been served at, see my dilemma,

    for all I prefer songbirds and love

    Mr. Bang Bang’s here make certain

    this stays a friendly conversation

    between friends, full disclosure, ain’t subtle,

    and men well, they’re excitable creatures

    and all they really really want

    is a woman rile ’em up and point ’em

    in a direction, girl,

    if he was gonna pick some strings instead,

    hit those husky notes gets you rabid in bed,

    woulda done by now, field’s just ’bout barren,

    so if you any kinda woman grown

    mean to do a thing about our lot, this monocrop,

    you gotta saddle up, gods ain’t dealt

    a mild mannered pack mule, that’s a warhorse,

    thick thighs ride the chaos, mean business, a king

    is just the man whose face you sit on.

    February 22, 2026
    Borrowing Your Ma For A Sec, Choctaw Yeehaw, Choose Your Fighter, For Her Pleasure, Hooked On Chthonics, I’ll Put Her Back Where She Belongs, If You Can’t Pull Neolithic You Ain’t Shit, Is It Not Sunday, Mainlining The Morrigan, rap-ish, The Old Ways, Woman Life Freedom

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    To the Tune of She Moved Through the Fair by Padraic Colum

    My love said to me

    We’re two of a kind

    And me mother did frighten

    What shade caught my eye

    Then he bolt awake from me

    Walked some proper way

    It will not be long love

    Till our wedding day

    .

    He flew away from me

    And his song filled the air

    And fondly I watched him

    Flit here and flit there

    And he scant could remember

    His wings were a pair

    Lost all sense of direction

    In the city glare

    .

    The people were saying

    He drew blood in his bed

    Burst bright plumes of she-down

    Twixt thorns of his nest

    And he wept when he saw me

    Night fell factory to field

    .

    And that was the last

    That they saw of my dear

    .

    One cold morning

    Thick leaves o’er a den

    So softly he entered

    Tucked close to my breast

    He slept fast my heartbeat

    Assured of his place

    It will not be long love

    Till our wedding day

    .

    @~^~

    Woke with this song randomly rattling about my skull. Alas, when I try to sing such things the lyrics are suddenly sinister. What’s meant to be wistful becomes menacing, longing becomes a direct demand. I guess that’s what happens when you spend your life filing your thoughts into prison shivs and don’t have the option of turning off your hoodrat subwoofer. So I leaned in.

    Anyway, a while back the kids were learning music and my favorite godchild told me I sounded like forest protector Maleficent as a dragon. Except my husband is like…a tiny songbird that eats meat and acts all crazy and nobody understands him until I show up and suddenly it’s Game of Thrones. Kids say the darndest things. Turns out there is in fact a songbird that eats meat.

    How did I roll all this shit together this morning? Read a piece about medieval noblewomen and their passion for falconry, and how they created and maintained parks and hunting grounds. So of course I got to thinking about the sexual dimorphism among birds of prey. Environmental degradation, the agency of women, etc etc etc.

    February 15, 2026
    folk, Ireland, lyrics, Podraic Colum

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    1K1N: A Bridge This

    We know her myth,

    the mystery and magic,

    a master of her craft lost

    to the sands.

    There once was a sultan

    who returned early from a trip

    and found the love of his life

    in bed with just about

    everyone but him.

    He became a tyrant,

    blew through all the women

    in his kingdom. People fled.

    His trusted vizier at wit’s end.

    That vizier’s eldest daughter

    came to him and said,

    send me. I will wed the sultan.

    Oh absolutely not, none so precious

    as your beautiful head. No tomes

    you haven’t read, my most eloquent,

    wise and well-bred. Send me,

    she said, I’ll have this sultan

    in hand.

    Scheherazade

    spun tale after tale

    at the sultan’s bedside,

    every night so enraptured

    he could scarcely close his eyes.

    She pulled from four corners, the entire

    sphere of her knowledge and worked

    so many subtly attuned threads

    he thought her will his own mind.

    Stories within stories within stories,

    songs and poetry, worlds so real,

    so intricate that if he could just

    reach into them

    he could believe in love again.

    And he couldn’t be anything

    but married by the end.

    One such thread

    the tale of Taj Al-Muluk

    and the Princess Dunya.

    He was a most adored prince,

    ripened loins on both men and women

    but to look upon him, exquisite manners,

    a single glance worth a thousand sighs,

    son of the Green Country, a kingdom

    most wealthy. Low and high born,

    young and old waxed poetic alike.

    The very lyrics of desire sprung

    from vile water.

    You get the point.

    Everything was good. Great. Alright.

    Sumptuously dressed, silks richly dyed, pampered

    apple of his father’s eye, driven to ride

    further and further afield in spite

    with his adoring men. Cast nets at lilting gazelles

    through rolling savanna, medjool citrus oasis,

    they spied vibrant merchants’ tents

    and Al-Muluk paid them a visit

    to ask the meaning of this.

    What he certainly did not expect

    was the most forlorn man he’d ever met,

    resignedly presenting his collections

    between swooning ghazal fits,

    weeping over a handkerchief.

    He implored of this Aziz,

    my god man what has befallen thee,

    and what is that kerchief, show it me.

    If it is within my power, I will do anything

    to relieve your pain.

    What followed was the story

    of a man who lost it all,

    up to and including his cock,

    because he chose to gorge and not eat,

    bewitched by a floating handkerchief

    cast by a terrible beauty

    who was not the woman

    bound to his side.

    The kerchief all that remained

    from the ashes of his former life.

    He had made pilgrimage

    to a far off land upon revelation

    of its true maker, his calling

    as a merchant revealed,

    so that he might glimpse

    a final vision of a woman

    he could never be worthy of.

    Spied from a distance

    across a sacred garden

    she who could only be enchantment

    personified.

    Al-Muluk held this simple linen

    with a reverence, a thing so plain

    set upon with such devastating skill,

    sensitivity in every stitch,

    eye for color and detail,

    as if this Dunya wet her needle

    in the blood of his own heart. Gazelles.

    Verse. She sent other such missives abroad,

    drama wherever they fell, so others might know

    her people. Seek trade.

    Well what Al-Muluk knew

    was that it was Over.

    The golden curse

    of a life bisected, before and after,

    bit the apple of knowledge that reveals

    for you there is only One.

    Good sense, reason, distance,

    circumstance be damned. Taj Al-Muluk

    fell hopelessly in love

    with a woman he’d never set eyes upon,

    from a place he’d never heard of.

    Our golden boy likewise succumbed

    to fits of ghazal.

    United with his new best friend

    in predilection for mope,

    wasted and wept and sang.

    His father said my boy, my boy,

    good god why? Whatever is the matter?

    How you’ve let yourself go.

    You’ll give your mother

    cardiac arrest.

    Father I am in love

    and I hardly know her, would that I

    had even a face to make moan my passion,

    press my suit, but no. Princess Dunya

    of the Camphor Isles. How can I go on?

    If the king grumbled of youth,

    Al-Muluk heard not. His father promised

    he would inquire after her hand.

    Joy leapt in his throat.

    It did not go well.

    Dunya had a mind of her own,

    the will to forge her own path, swore

    should her father force marriage,

    he who she wed she would kill.

    To her reckoning

    all men were brutes, scoundrels, and cowards.

    Unworthy

    of trust, strangers

    to love.

    As the fruit of a child bride his own self,

    the prince couldn’t pretend she was totally wrong.

    The king read Al-Muluk’s abject despair

    and said son you could have a bride

    from anywhere. Beauty and breeding

    weren’t scarce. But it didn’t matter.

    It didn’t matter. There’s the rub.

    So many could simply settle down

    and well enough’s enough. Never know

    the searing arrow shaft of true love.

    None of those women

    would ever be Her.

    Could never come close.

    If he couldn’t chart a course,

    navigate the shifting sand,

    he resolved to wander without water

    into the desert and death take him.

    The presence and possibility

    of such a high caliber match rendered

    everything else mirage. Djinn smoke.

    The king said very well, we can always

    conquer her kingdom.

    Al-Muluk said no,

    he must win her by his own merits,

    as a man. Dunya’s spirit

    demanded an untraditional approach.

    He would travel abroad

    and set up shop as a merchant,

    use his skills to lure information,

    connections, oh he was certain

    that if they could just meet

    their souls would slip into place,

    hit their stride like well worn

    leather slippers. Soft tread footsteps

    on a path always been there.

    They were the same, face to face,

    exactly the same somehow. A single pair.

    Or the desert.

    Al-Muluk, Aziz, and the Vizier set out.

    The journey was of course arduous,

    every day wondered if he’d gone mad,

    mooning over a ruined eunuch’s report

    of a spear-straight back, slender waist,

    heavy hips and dark-bright eyes,

    if he could get hold of that

    he’d act all kinds of right.

    The name Dunya after all

    means the World,

    this present life

    nearest to us.

    The name Al-Muluk imagines

    a crown, pretends

    dominion.

    Well, by now we know

    which boasts superior pull. The road

    wore long and on the horizon

    a crest crystalline, some trick of light,

    thrust from the clamoring ocean,

    some heady, heaving seafoam. Love’s spoils.

    Its mess. His churning thoughts.

    They would soon reach

    their destination.

    The first thing they did

    after securing lodgings

    was hit the bathhouse and flirt

    with a dirty old man

    for the best bazaar stall,

    a prominent place.

    While the tumultuous two worked, the Vizier

    gathered up the manly gossip about town.

    Who’s who what’s what local pollen,

    jabber they get up to at a tea house,

    possessed that gift of gab.

    Skirt whirled streets, dust and grit,

    children at play,

    swags, rugs, and mosaic lamps,

    Al-Muluk cherished this time anonymous,

    just another working man. Hardly slumming it,

    but still. Honed his clever tongue

    on all manner of folk. Quite a reputation.

    The princess was jealously guarded,

    seldom seen since she came of age,

    between royal wills a stalemate.

    Some said lack of mother to blame,

    raised by maids, kept to her ladies,

    courtyards, chambers and apartments.

    Scarcity magnified intrigue.

    The prince despaired an opening.

    Then, one day an old woman hobbled by

    and they received her with customary grace,

    sat her down, fanned her sweat, offered drink,

    this granny’s lascivious eye did partake

    of this stall’s particularly fine

    wares

    and said it was a lucky young woman indeed

    who got her arms about that waist,

    and Al-Muluk never missed a chance

    to preen those masculine wiles

    his mama gave him. His father

    got what he paid for.

    As for Granny, she sought a gift

    fit for a princess.

    He had just the thing.

    She returned with a chest

    of nothing but the best

    at a shockingly good price.

    Such a deal social debt implied,

    a favor bestowed

    for what caught Dunya’s eye,

    or who might. Granny crowed delight

    at her finds, reported no finer

    wares

    in the Camphor Isles.

    Oh that merchant was no less

    than the full moon dune-glow

    to her rising sun, such a comely traveler

    would look oh so good

    kiss drunk, cheeks flush

    between the heaving sea fairy swell

    of her breasts.

    Dunya pretended shock

    at Granny’s lewdness. Bade she capture

    that favor, this merchant’s humble request.

    This old maid who nursed and raised her

    returned with a letter.

    Now Al-Muluk wasn’t stupid,

    Dunya already had her dagger drawn,

    hackles up, coming at her with a caterwaul

    all yes hello trust me I’m your soulmate

    totally not like other men

    would not be well received.

    Instead he engaged with riddling verse,

    invited further exchange,

    desperately trying to quell

    his heart’s fancy footwork,

    telling him to go whole hog,

    head to hooves apple in his mouth,

    do with him what she will.

    Restraint

    piqued her tongue, or fingers,

    thus began their dance of wits and words

    though never so clever

    as to be insincere, more

    gentle knuckles sweeping, toes weaving

    side to side

    through sheer silken veils, the art

    of the drape incense curled

    and brass pooled flame.

    A merchant must know

    how best to present

    his wares.

    When one sheet of fabric

    a breath’s flicker between them

    he asked if they might meet.

    Al-Muluk was denied

    and plunged into silence.

    Why

    was an anvil

    strapped to his chest,

    and he walked dangerously close

    to those seaside cliffs.

    Aziz and the Vizier stressed

    what they’d tell the king

    if his dear son departed this world.

    Then Granny hobbled by

    to assure that the princess Dunya

    was not made of ice, not stone,

    no trick of his mind, lifelong

    nightmares

    plagued her flight feathers,

    the recurring theme

    of two pigeons separated,

    wherein the male abandoned

    his mate.

    If he meant to persist,

    Al-Muluk must seek her

    in the solace of her private garden,

    a pleasure permitted once a month,

    the closest thing akin the taste

    of freedom. He must show

    steady hands,

    stay the course.

    And just like that

    our lovestruck prince

    was back on his bullshit.

    Merchant, that is.

    They arranged a reconnaissance mission,

    and even if all he impressed were some plants

    he wouldn’t be caught dead

    looking a mess,

    bath fresh hair did dapper pants,

    clocked the sad state

    of the courtyard’s plaster.

    He finally saw her.

    Wending thoughtful through

    everything she’d planted

    for her own amusement. Boughs

    heavy laden with fruit, blooms

    wafting humid intoxicant,

    alighting on every carefully selected

    specimen.

    Dewdrops or sweat pricked,

    the entire expanse of his skin

    so sudden,

    so sudden.

    Nerves a hummingbird’s wings.

    Whatever it took.

    Her garden was a jungle, thick

    with such intimate sustenance,

    so green as to be gore,

    and he wanted nothing else

    to pass his lips again.

    After Dunya left

    he went to see a man

    about that plaster.

    His final move

    spanned one month more.

    Al-Muluk plastered and painted

    an answering dreamscape in triptych,

    the secret side of her nightmares,

    that which was hidden from view,

    a male pigeon struck dead

    by a kite’s talons. He returned.

    He would always return.

    Stained half his clothes,

    even grew calluses. He wrought

    for Dunya a masterpiece.

    Al-Muluk waited.

    At last she beheld a mural

    whose beauty embraced her garden,

    a perfect complement. How could someone

    she’d never met

    know so well her heart’s chambers,

    as if the very bated shadow breath

    between beats?

    Dunya asked of Granny,

    who’d sent everyone else away,

    the name of this artist, his identity,

    and Granny said, your merchant is here

    if you would meet.

    Dunya’s discerning eye

    sampled heatedly his

    wares

    and duly decided, yes,

    she would be having that, yes,

    very,

    very

    suitable to her palate.

    Granny dressed Al-Muluk as a woman

    and snuck him into the palace,

    he’d run the risk of losing his head,

    both of them, so long as he first

    put them to their purpose.

    For six months hence

    Dunya put his endurance to test,

    scarcely a moment she did not

    catch and suck his lips, small nips,

    grip the curly down scalp to navel on

    of her specimen,

    hungered every inch every day,

    some act of scathing revenge

    for how long she had to wait.

    Al-Muluk served no complaint.

    Dunya would not be rotting on the vine,

    drank from her mouths both musk and wine,

    clung to her hips and thighs for dear life,

    split the night with swallowed cries,

    she was so very

    ripe.

    Granny worked double time,

    washed at the break of dawn

    Dunya’s wrecked bed sheets in the wake

    of a focused and generous lover, our pair

    writhed almost every night as serpents,

    oh their pleasures plunged

    a wide berth.

    Nothing but the best for her girl.

    Their mutual passions

    only further inflamed, steady oxygen flow,

    increased with exposure, the madness

    of a perfect match.

    God would blush. Or perhaps

    this was how

    the most High is best known crescendo

    over bass thrum. Bright star

    above the ocean.

    When Al-Muluk was not

    panting in her garden

    or nestled in her crook, some dozing dovecote

    of murmured conversation,

    he haunted the many rooms

    of her apartments. Intricate interiors,

    curiosities and books, crafts and their tools,

    cross breeze screens and windows

    carried birdsong and distant bustle, laughter,

    cast sunlit patterns

    on the beautifully loomed

    floors and walls. Velvety jewel tones.

    Ached in these spaces

    as she must have done.

    Worlds within worlds.

    He wanted more.

    Found some traveling bags

    carefully packed. His leaping heart.

    Then one night it was different,

    her nails bit his behind, hungry

    in a new way. She would have him

    spent deep between her legs.

    She was not asking.

    He expended utmost

    generosity.

    As they lie wild and sated,

    his fingers still stroking the pungent,

    dewy flush of her bud just

    to revel in how her speech caught,

    once, twice, some sweet tears, dipped

    to circle her swollen comb

    and offered the sacrament

    of their mingled mess. Accepted.

    What man done better with his flesh

    than to inspire the wanton might

    of his woman’s creation?

    If you must do a thing,

    do it right.

    Al-Muluk thought it time

    to reveal that he was not in fact

    a merchant,

    but an embarrassingly wealthy prince

    of the far off Green Country,

    and though he wouldn’t dream

    of forcing such a journey,

    demanding she leave everything behind,

    she made him want to be a man

    worthy of the responsibilities

    his accident of birth implied.

    Should he feign death

    or otherwise slip the harness

    of such status, his station,

    it would spur his father to violence

    from which he’d previously retired, and pierce

    his mother’s heart,

    and her pain he could appreciate

    all the more now. Nor would he make

    Dunya a fugitive from her own people.

    No.

    He was Taj Al-Muluk of Green Country,

    and if she would have him,

    he would make her its queen.

    Found himself

    indecent again, Dunya mounted

    without ceremony

    and said yes until his legs gave out

    and they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

    Our lovers were discovered.

    All hell broke loose.

    After six months and no word,

    his father was en route

    with their entire army. Her father

    had him thrown in jail and beat,

    thinking this merchant debauched royalty,

    did Dunya dishonor. A mongrel’s disrespect,

    however pretty.

    Several rounds of fury, explanations,

    and blood.

    Dunya pulled a knife like bitch she might

    commit regicide. Twice.

    The prince’s true identity revealed,

    intentions clear.

    Their fathers stood down.

    Al-Muluk and Dunya were married twice,

    according to respective customs, so everyone

    could celebrate, and somewhere on the road

    everyone pretended that was when

    she “lost her maidenhead”

    as was proper.

    His people adored her,

    and if Dunya’s belly

    seemed awfully swift with child,

    that was just a djinn’s coincidence.

    Their king and queen stole about their palace

    as if only recently in the throes of courtship,

    for pigeons never cease wooing their mates.

    You might say Dunya killed the man

    she wed after all,

    but not for many long years

    in each other’s arms.

    @~^~

    I took great liberties and don’t apologize. Hope it was worth the wait.

    February 8, 2026
    fairy tales, fantasy, one thousand and one nights, spring feeling, storytelling

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    Golden Fleece 2/X: Cold Mountain

    Once was a soldier,

    if that’s what you call them,

    barely whiskered wet behind the ears,

    all the able bodied men as if any to spare,

    and this Inman did clutch to his breast

    a book given him, three letters and a tintype,

    the scripture of his woman’s words,

    never dared response but pressed on and on,

    scare looked beyond that trench, fetid gutter,

    a mass grave, another day, another bloodbath,

    some explosions, stench of gunpowder,

    boys half his age dead, someone’s son.

    He remembered

    Ada from Cold Mountain.

    “Men up here had a bearing

    on what they thought a woman was,

    and then you showed up.” Miss Sally said

    the day Ada arrived. The day they met. A welcome.

    She brought the working men cider but

    cat got his tongue, he was not

    a loquacious man. Ada asked for his name

    and he stumbled to provide it, found it ugly,

    uncouth—saying it don’t improve a thing—

    and finally upon stilted silence

    insisted he just went by his surname

    Inman.

    Neither was he born to dance,

    not possessed of fine manners

    and as we’ve established, words. He worked

    and Ada noticed. She invited.

    But he’d watch from the dark side

    of her doorway, peer into the warm and bright,

    standing in the rain

    because he was dirty and wet instead.

    When she went out that night, as it was clear

    he’d remain outside, and gently, gently pressed,

    danced around what she really wanted to ask

    like a sparrow in a birdbath, skirted

    his intentions, the looming war, her,

    “This doesn’t come out right.” Halting

    as an electrical current run through a corpse,

    “If it were enough just to stand,

    without the words.”

    “It is.” She assured.

    “It is.” But he pressed on.

    “Look at the sky now.

    What color is it? Or the way…

    a hawk flies? Or you wake up

    and your ribs are bruised

    thinking so hard on somebody.

    What do you call that?”

    It was almost a demand.

    They almost made progress

    when he snuck his requested likeness

    into the pages of some sheet music

    and spoke her daddy.

    They ran out of time.

    Just as he was set to deploy,

    if you can call it that, half dressed,

    no training, no experience, she gave

    him a book with her photograph.

    “I’m not smiling in it.

    I don’t know how to do that. Hold

    a smile.” Well he was always

    better off with his hands, pulled

    her to him in a hungry kiss

    she fully matched.

    Inman woke

    in a pus-curdled, fly-infested infirmary,

    feverish recovering

    from infection and injury. A woman in black

    at his bedside took mercy, found

    his one belonging, and opened

    a weathered letter to read

    “…So now I say to you

    plain as I can. If you are fighting,

    stop fighting.

    If you are marching,

    stop marching.

    Come back to me.”

    Meanwhile

    Ada worried what would be

    the last days beside her daddy,

    only vaguely aware of the threat

    posed by the Home Guard—

    cruel and vicious men self-charged

    with prowling about town

    “protecting” property and womenfolk

    and killing deserters.

    Her daddy getting old, a widower

    never remarried, asked his daughter

    if she still thought on her man.

    Oh every day all it made no sense

    for she hardly knew him.

    A handful of moments taking over

    her whole night sky, her mind’s eye.

    And her daddy, he said

    he had her mother all of twenty-two months

    before she passed, and that

    was more than enough.

    A lifetime full

    of little treasures. Golden sand

    in an hourglass. We love who we love

    and love makes the tiniest glance precious.

    It don’t have to make sense to be so blessed.

    No regrets.

    He read and tinkered with sermons

    at their dining table nestled

    on the lawn beneath a fine, strong tree

    with long arms overlooking the forest,

    a swooping mountain vista,

    and though Ada fretted an oncoming storm

    he waved her off and asked if she might

    go inside and play the piano

    by the open window. The day so beautiful,

    would be a shame to miss a moment of it.

    Ada’s daddy died.

    Inman’s mid-odyssey about face

    got off to a bad start.

    War was already lost

    but that didn’t deter the Home Guard

    and their hunting hounds.

    Maggoty corn and murdered slave families,

    a corrupt rapist preacher he made certain

    paid for his decadent ways. Got as far

    as a filthy brothel in sordid company,

    ends and means, before he was drugged

    and clapped in chains,

    betrayed.

    Then came some Yanks.

    They all took the chance.

    Everyone got shot in the back,

    but Inman survived. Still chained.

    Collapsed.

    At Cold Mountain,

    a growing wall of fallen sons, tiny pictures

    and rustic trinkets, and Ada mussed

    and beholden to the kindness

    of the other women. That greedy old bastard

    head of the Home Guard

    wouldn’t let her rest or mourn. Sniffing

    after her hand. Her good land. Said in church

    her man wouldn’t return. Said look at him.

    He wasn’t nothing. Ugly ass.

    Miss Sally took her in, had been

    leaving all manner of baskets, heartsick

    for the farm’s disrepair.

    Ada had long freed the slaves.

    At dinner with her dear friend,

    Sally’s husband suddenly said

    Ada should take a mirror

    and look over her shoulder

    into their well water. Her future,

    her heart’s desire may be revealed.

    His wife did it all the time—abruptly hushed.

    Well Ada

    in its slippery reflection a second sight,

    glimpsed the shadowy form of a man

    in the snow, heralded by a flurry of crows.

    Then he was gone.

    Inman woke on a twisted branch sled

    or some such, being drug into the forest

    by an old hermit woman.

    Deep emerald foliage, civilization distant

    as if it never was, a covered wagon,

    a dispersed herd of small goats. Strung herbs.

    A cookfire. Made to rise, said he had to go,

    but goat woman scoffed. Gruffly replied

    he had to heal first.

    Inman warned he was a deserter

    and she scoffed again because

    what would they do?

    Cut short her young life?

    His wounds begged attention,

    his belly a meal, and his fragmented

    mind a proper rest. All his fussing in bed,

    she pestled up some laudanum, potent

    poppy tincture home brew. As it took hold

    Inman devolved into some wilderness,

    rambled half agony half prayer a woman’s name

    implicit, the woman

    he was returning to. Compelled, driven

    by some force.

    “…And I hardly know her.

    I hardly know her! And I just

    can’t seem

    to get back to her.” Slept at last.

    Had somewhat more his wits come morn.

    Inman watched mutely as a white goat

    ambled calmly up to the old woman,

    a child’s face.

    She lectured

    everything in nature has a job.

    Bird’s got a job, seed’s got a job,

    shit’s got a job. A forest grows.

    A goat

    gives you milk, cheese, company,

    and when necessary,

    meat.

    She slit it’s throat,

    it went peacefully, she still

    hushed and praised its sacrifice.

    There there. You were such a beauty.

    Such a beauty.

    Meanwhile Miss Sally sent for help.

    One morning at the mercy

    of an aggressive rooster, real cock of the walk,

    and his uppity spurs

    Ada received a visitor.

    Ruby Thewes an illiterate farm girl—

    a young woman, proud country bumpkin—

    marched right up and ripped off the rooster’s head

    with her bare hands. Only good rooster

    was a dead rooster. Fuck that guy.

    She brought a gun. Some other stuff.

    Said she didn’t believe in money.

    Came there to work, but not as a servant.

    Expected to room and board, eat at the table,

    be shown respect. Ada would learn

    alongside and work as well.

    Ada took no offense.

    She was just glad.

    Their hard labors turned it all around,

    better than expected, way you yoke

    a skittish or inexperienced horse

    to a sturdy or confident one and arrive

    at your destination twice as fast.

    Ruby learned to read

    and Ada learned to wear pants.

    Scoundrel Daddy Thewes even came back

    from the supposed dead and didn’t ask

    for forgiveness, just if they could spare a coat

    for his simple friend, his bandmate.

    See he’d given up drink

    when he took up the strings. Never knew

    he had it in him until the war, but the place

    he’s filled with song, well it’s all

    about his daughter now. When he plays

    he’s thinking on her, everything he wrote.

    She was always

    a good girl.

    Ruby Thewes thawed

    just a little.

    Inman stumbled upon a cabin,

    desperate for shelter in the rain

    and inside a young widow who bade him

    enter

    from the other side of a gun.

    See when it comes to war

    it don’t matter what side

    a man claims he’s on

    if you’re a woman alone. Whatever she had

    to spare was fair enough. He wouldn’t push.

    She said she had to believe

    he meant her no harm. Would ask for no more.

    Her fevered baby fussed.

    She dressed him

    in her late husband’s dry clothes, neither man

    physically imposing, much presence,

    straight up and down.

    Shadows and bones.

    After unrestful repose, toss and turn,

    she asked him in off the pile of cobs.

    Asked if he could just lie beside her

    and expect no more. Take it no further.

    There in the dark,

    Inman stiff as a board, alarmed

    when her fingers laced his own. Declared,

    rasped as if wind through hollow trunk,

    “I love someone.”

    But all she did was weep. Broken. Alone.

    He listened.

    Dawn brought little comfort.

    A troop of Yanks turned up

    fixing to steal what little she had,

    pull down their pants

    for a bit of gang rape. Of course.

    Inman did what he did best, silent

    as a wraith. A wisp. Blink and you’ll miss.

    He was not

    an imposing man.

    There was no rape that day. That captain

    bled out upon his prey, dead between her legs.

    His friends soon followed.

    Ada’s foul suitor

    and his cohorts came down on poor Sally.

    Tied a noose around her neck, crushed her hands

    in the fence and made her watch

    as they murdered her husband, hung him

    from her clothesline, and shot both her sons

    whom she’d his in their barn.

    She went mute.

    The girls ran over too late,

    brought Sally to Black Cove to recover,

    if you can call it that,

    and though she never spoke again

    she smiled when that fugitive bumpkin band

    made merry tunes on Sundays

    there on the homestead.

    A candle’s trembling breadth of happiness.

    Ruby and the youngest musician

    called Georgia for where he’d from,

    well they took interest in each other.

    Then, one day they slipped up,

    didn’t leave soon enough, steal away

    before the diamond dust, and left

    tracks in the snow.

    The Home Guard shared their fire

    and their song while the youngest

    was off vomiting

    from eating an old frozen doe.

    Made Daddy Thewes and his simple friend

    stand with their hats off, told the idiot

    to stop smiling, but he couldn’t,

    it was just his way. So they made

    him hold his hat over his face.

    Ada and Ruby went up the mountain

    to grieve their freshly dead. In reality

    they hid Daddy Thewes who yet breathed

    and there his wounds did tend.

    Ruby sent Ada on a hunt

    and she came back with a wild turkey

    and Inman. Met again

    at the business end of her rifle.

    Ruby sussed the situation,

    all fine boned and pale eyed, the man

    she knew only as Ada’s one way

    message recipient.

    Said she ought to send Ada

    into the woods with a gun more often.

    They settled into the hunter’s camp,

    a cluster of rickety shelters about a cookfire.

    Inman sussed the situation,

    and let Ruby know he wasn’t looking

    to usurp anybody’s position at Black Cove,

    reckoned he needed to ask her permission first.

    She noted his pig’s ear attempt

    at making himself presentable. Took the knife

    and drew it along his long pale throat

    and saw to that feral billy goat, swatted

    at him when he turned his head to look,

    huffed, then after a pause while she worked,

    “You got the right feelings for her?”

    Knife. Throat.

    “I do.” Not a man to mince words.

    Night fell and Ruby retired early. Of course.

    Ada and Inman shuffled and glanced,

    made eyes at each other all filly and colt.

    She asked

    if he received all her letters,

    must’ve been one hundred plus,

    asked why he didn’t respond if so.

    She’d been talking to him

    this entire time, inside her mind, despite

    the foolishness. They hardly knew each other.

    Understood if it was too much. She was too much.

    He don’t give a girl much to go on.

    At her uncertainty Inman spoke up, said

    that all those little moments they shared

    were like a bag of tiny diamonds,

    that it didn’t matter if they were real.

    They were all he had.

    “If you could see my inside,

    my spirit?

    That’s what I fear.

    I think I’m ruined.

    They kept trying to put me in the ground.

    But I wasn’t ready.

    But if I had goodness, I lost it.

    If I had anything tender in me

    I shot it dead.

    How could I write to you

    after what I done?

    What I seen?”

    Ruby took the opportunity

    to briefly intervene, this boy was spiraling,

    said she’d have to go someplace else

    to get some shut eye. If they must continue,

    do it inside.

    So there they were in the low lamplight,

    miles and miles of ache between them,

    Inman wary as if

    he couldn’t dare to know Her will.

    Pulse kicked breath blossomed in the cold.

    Ada’s every heartbeat

    calling her revenant home, unwilling

    to wait one moment more.

    She said her preacher daddy

    would understand how such frivolity

    as a wedding seemed pointless now.

    Inman struggled to convey his full intention,

    the fact he didn’t come all that way

    to mess around.

    Ada nervously recalled a religion

    where the only thing required

    of man and wife

    is to say it three times aloud.

    Well that’s three words

    he could manage dire earnest,

    “I marry you.

    I marry you.

    I marry you,”

    for that had always

    been his undercurrent.

    She sprung upon him

    in amorous reassurance, echoed

    profusion of his sentiment. Two rivers

    entwined. He rushed

    to give her the best piece

    to remember him by,

    and that part

    understood his job well enough,

    oh he got that right.

    The next day

    brought the final fight.

    That Home Guard sought to further

    terrorize.

    But this time

    with the end in sight

    and blood run high, none

    of those men would leave alive.

    Gun smoke in stark sunlight. Rapid fire.

    Inman rode hard

    in pursuit of the last man, up the mountain

    into the forest. A pale and vicious youth.

    They both fired a single shot.

    Ada heard the crows.

    She knew.

    Her one true love bled

    out into the snow in her arms.

    He was beautiful.

    And years down the road,

    she still spoke to him

    if only in her head, every day.

    Said this time of year

    when the lambs newborn

    and the ewes rich with milk,

    when spring wakes upon the winter down,

    and there is so much life, for a moment

    she doesn’t hurt. She looks into that well

    and the sky is just blue.

    Beneath her great oak tree

    at Black Cove, she sets a table

    as her daughter Grace Inman

    sneaks treats into her mouth.

    Ruby and Georgia, baby in tow,

    Miss Sally and Daddy Thewes gather round,

    Ada says if you could see it all now

    you would know

    that every step of your journey

    was worth it.

    @~^~

    Cold Mountain (2003). Entire soundtrack, though You Will Be My Ain True Love is my favorite. I actually left quite a bit out for the sake of brevity, some threads I consider instrumental to the spirit of this film. It definitely rearranged some things inside me when I was fourteen for reasons I’m sure are immediately obvious.

    February 1, 2026
    Imbolc, storytelling

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